Mad-ness-dae

I am feeling tempting by good foods! Fish n Co, korean food, sushi buffet, french food, chicken ginseng soup etc. Oh goshhh. My partner and I have been discussing about foods since the whole morning. Good foods! But I haven't get my pay yet. Sadd. Park you going to treat me on friday right? =X
Just get a scolding from a lady for laughing too loud. I should be quiet.

It's All Coming Back To Me Now

There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window

There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever

I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made

But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
Baby Baby

If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist
And it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back

There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper

There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever

But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then

But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, Baby, Baby

When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now

If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now

And if we..

Mondae

Finally, It is the beginning of 2nd month, 1st week.
Wheeee!~
Have fun going out with F3 yesterday. They are going to buy me a pair of heels at pretty fit which I have been targeting since long time ago. Love ya! =) Next, We bought ourselves each a Levi's bag for only 20bucks! Its cheap. And we like cheap items. As what shufen say, if we don't buy anything at the sale, we're going to let ourselves down. See how cheapo is she? =X Hugs. Tried a two pair of jeans, w24 is too small for me. w25 is a bit too spacy for me. Sweat. Which means, I am stuck between w24 and w25! Gosh. How to put on weight? Is there any secret behind it? =XX
And F3 are so excited to see N70. LOL. They use it for their self satifaction! Take so many pictures, and change my wallpaper to their faces. LOL. My phone now is filled with pretty girls pictures.
What ice cream should I be treating F3? 1dollar or 50cents? LOL. U know u know. I haven't get my pay. I wonder when my pay be will credit into my account. Hopefully soon.
To update on my morning blog, shu fen visited me for lunch! Hugg. *touched. We have bandito together. Her favourite. My favourite too. But I still like two pieces chicken. whahahahah! Yum yum. She bought me the heels. Awww~ I love F3. Muack! LOL

Strawberry Yogurt.

Fool day

Oh well..
How am I going to start telling about today life?
Today is 1st of april.. To many, today is april fool. It means a day to play a joke on people.
And.. Someone PS me today for the drama concert. Sigh. Life is bad.
But it's okay. I got my sushi. I got my yogurts.
Lastly, I got my N70.

Yup.

I feel so small.
I feel empty.
I can't feel it.
Goodnight.

Title: What is Your Phrase? [for darker people]


"Awake, yet never truly alive, I seek valuation beyond reality"
Life is unfullfilling for you, and you aren't very fond of it. What you like is your own imaginative world, which can be your daydreams, stories you write or anything similar. You always prefer that before the actual life. To people you come off as quite lonesome, and you may wish you had more friends, but you are more of a hoper than someone who takes action. That is how you remain lonely. Or maybe you just don't find anyone who you can relate to. Inside you feel empty, like you are missing something important that you can't quite put a finger on what it is. Somehow you wish to be swept away from the normality and led into something extraordinary. This has yet to happen, and you keep on feeling dissapointed with the little that life has to offer. At least you continue to express yourself through art/writing/poems/daydreaming.

Quiz : What is your phrase
Taken at Quizilla.com

Sound so true

Here is my new version of logo.
But the coloring is not so nice. Perhaps I shall change again today. LOL.
My partner is back! Weeee! No more lunch alone! When I stare into his eyes, he remind me of alvin somehow. Alvinnnnn~ =X
I am bored. Find me things to do.

cloudy day

My partner is NOT coming today. He got the MC for 2 days. That means.. Lunch alone!
Sigh. So sad. Eating lunch alone again.
I should eat western food for today, cheer myself up.
But.. the fate is against me! The western food owners haven't prepare to start their stall, therefore, I have to eat other food.
I decided to try economic rice (vegetable rice in chinese). Paid 2.50bucks for it, quite cheap and I got myself my favourite sotong with chilli. whahaha! Thought this could cheer me up but I was WRONG. Back to office happily. Open my packet of take away rice, ready to eat, there is a free gift that comes with the rice. Wooohoo! The auntie treats me so well. A hair in the rice. Sweat.
What happened to my luck?! TT.
Here I am, eating alone in the office.
Sadden.
Eating a packet of rice in a room with four walls facing me. Am I a prisoner?
Just that I don't need to wear uniform.
Sob.

Linn

'The greatest distance in the world is not birth or death. It's the one who stands in front of you yet you don't know she/he loves you.'

I am so bored until I design my own logo. Cool huh? =X whahaha. It's simple.

Raining day

My partner is not here today. Down with fever.
I am all alone in this room. Cold cold. Lunch ALONE.
So sad.
Today will be another boring day.
I shall read my storybook and do some web designing.
What should I eat today? Kfc or mac? *drools
Maybe 12 nuggets again? LOL. Jk.
My birthday is getting near! Wooohoo!
Presents presents! *hint
The sky is growing dark again. Raining soon?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't you ever wish
You were someone else
You were meant to be
The way you are exactly
Don't you ever say
You don't like the way you are
When you learn to love yourself
You'd better off by far
And I hope you always stay the same
Cause there's nothing 'bout you I would

I think that you could be
Whatever you wanted to be
If you could realize
All the dreams you have inside
Don't be afraid
If you've got something to say
Just open up your heart
And let it show you the way

Believe in yourself
Reach down inside
The love you find will set you free
Believe in yourself
You will come alive
Have faith in what you do

You'll make it through

Sundae

I feel weird.
I feel like a living dead today. Perhaps yesterday slept too late.
Down on flu today.
I found out something today.
It's amazing kids are quite imaginative.
Saw a kid taking ez-link card as a camera trying to take pictures for her parents. And to think her parents posed too. I smiled.
I feel the warmness in them, as a family.
It makes me think back, all the times when I am sad. Who had been there for me. Etc.
Certain things I just don't feel like elaborate anymore.
Promises are meant to be carried out.
But sometime things will meant to be?
It's okay.
The smiles that I enjoy now.
Yes. Thanks new friend.
=)
perhaps one day I will be falling for you.

Week 3

It's going to be the end of week 3!
Hooray!
Means.. Next week will be week 4. And I will have 4 months left to go back to school.
Whahahaha. Can't wait to go back to school. Now everyday I am thinking of what to do in the office plus I got weird partner and I am his weird partner too. whahahaha! Weird project group we have. Everything seems so weird there. I seldom talk to him, that's why we got comunication problem. Sweat. I am too quiet. Whenever talk to him I will get nervous, cause he's too good in talking. This sounds weird. Anyway, I will try to improve in the situation. Because I need to do well in this IAP. I want good gpa. TT.
Got back our results. I want quite anxious to know how I did in my CP. Luckily I passed. Phew. Thanks to melvin! Bro, hugg! =)
Anyway, Lets take a look at my new phone camera. 2MPs is not that sharp.



Who kidnap the princess? =X


How boring can I be?



Me and min


That kappo!



Cow evolution

Tuesday

Read this passage from the book(Tuesday with morrie) that I bought a few day ago. It's about a dying professor and an ex student of his.
"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love and to let it come in.
Let it come in.
We think we doesn't deserve love, we think if we let it in we'll become soft.
But a wise man named Levine said it right. He said, 'Love is only rational act.'"

=)

Look at me
You may think you see who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask, I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart
Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

I am now
In a world where I have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world, what's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection someone I don't know
Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why

Why must we all conceal, what we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me, I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

Is that we've been together much too long?
The answer many not be in black and white
We're always trying to prove who's right or wrong
And now we're giving up without a fight
I know when you're gone
I wish I'd held on

So baby surrender to me
They'll be no holding back now
So baby surrender to me tonight

I don't want our love to cause you so much pain
If this is how it's gonna be I'll walk away
Oh, neither one of us should ever say goodbye
Let's forget about the past and who's to blame
Cause when this is all gone
We'll wish we'd held on

How could this love be in danger
That used to be so good, so right
To think that fate could make us strangers
Just hold me in your arms tonight

lemon.

I am back at home.
Home seems to be the only place that I can find my warm.
Perhaps time will really make somebody forgot everything.
Is it true?
I'm feeling moody again.
Tell me anything u want. Don't ever keep quiet. Scold me if u like. Just talk to me.
=/
Sigh.
I like u. He likes me.
I found something familiar today.
Remember that time we were both watching windstruck at ur place? I got the tears song that is played in piano. So nice. How close we used to be.
sigh.
Take good care.
Hugs.

Tears.

Day 10

Oh man. Blog is having problem again.
I just blog it and the post is disappeared. Gosh. Kinda eerie.
Anyway, I can access to the internet in my company. Good news!
So I don't have to wait till I reach home and blog. *grins
I have also finished watching the 'Romance' vcd. The ending is expected. Just as like every fairy tale. When can I ever be the leading actress in a fairy tale? *blink
Now I begin my shopping experience.. My shopping incidents with xx yesterday.
Fun! LOL.
I make a fool of myself man.
Xx was late! Woohoo. Finally I am early. =X
Went to raffles place food junction to eat chicken rice. He stuffed me with chicken! 1 plate will usually cost around 3bucks but he buy two plate together so they gave us a plate of chicken which is 4bucks each person! Money..
Then after that went to look at the clothes in Espirit Whahhaaha! I found something nice! I want it too! There is this jeans that I liked. It's a fading light blue and its design is a quarter folding up jeans. Guess how much? 99.90bucks. Then I happened to see a white sweater! Gosh. It's fabulous to match with that jeans. =X It's also 99.90bucks. Whahaha! *hint hint My birthday is coming. Hahahaha
Then try on a red sweater. It's a two zips sweater. Quite unique. But I PREFER the white sweater more. Hahaha.
We went to our next stop, perlini! Didn't fully notice the necklace at raffles place there. Only notice that it was 110bucks. Gosh. I want it so badly that I keep on telling xx that my birthday is coming. As I wanted to take a look on how the necklace is, we decided to went to suntec. On the way there, I bought the mirror metal box sweets. Whahahha! Limited design leh. =X wanted to get the high maintenance design instead but I thought about it, lush is better huh. LOL. Envy me ma xx? LOL.
Back in perlini, looking at my desire necklace. Now I can tell that it's a two piece crown necklace. Very unique indeed. But too expensive leh. I even asked the sale assistant is there any purchase of only 1 piece of the necklace. =X I tried the necklace on, but it doesn't match well with my collar shirt. Guess shouldn't wear collar shirt with that. Should have wear a sleeveless shirt. Then xx said, he wanted to touch the necklace too because it was quite expensive. Dots. Got the impulsive to run out of the shop when I am wearing the necklace, then let xx pays for me. Whahahahhaa! Poor friend. =X After we got out of the shop, I suddenly remember that I got this 'How well do we score' card from perlini in my bag, so I tell xx to pass it to the girl as I feel that I am quite troublesome. Little do I know that the dateline for submitting the card was already over. Gosh. And I pass it to the sale assistant. She give me a confused expression and told me that the card was to submit before 31th of march 2005. 2005.. Which was supposed to be last year! F5. I was so embarrassed that I keep on laughing at how silly can I be. LOL. Xx also feel that I am a noob. LOL. Whahahaha! But it was fun doing stupid things. That's why I am always doing silly stuff. =X Went to carrefour to buy corn flake. In the end bought coco krunch. Yummy. Spend quite long time in carrefour. The towels there have nice color! Oh my.. I like the brown color strips with heart design at the corner. The orange, yellow and white strips also not bad. Gosh. Many many. Got influenced by shufen to look at towel. LOL. Bought sushi, coco krunch, milk, chestnut drink and dried apricot. Money can be spend easily just by buying those items. It costs 10.95bucks. I am broke again! So sad. When can I get my hp? My necklace? My clothes? My bag?
On the way to mrt station, xx said he wanted to buy that mirror box sweets. But the push cart was closed, so he had no choice but to wait till next time. =X
Fighting with xx in the mrt station. Actually we have been fighting since we met at raffles place. He was taking revenge. ROAR. We missed two trains. Gosh. Reached home about 11.50pm. And I have to bath and wait for my hair to dry. In the end, I sleep while my hair is still wet. Too tired. Used too much energy.

+) :( :'(

Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man's all. For God will bring every work into judgement, including every secret thing, whether good or bad.

Day7

Today is a boring day!
Nothing to do. Sleep in the afternoon.
Sigh.
Life is not good.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here is a email I received. Guess it was quite cool. My birthdate is from maple tree. =)
So what is urs?

Dec 23 to Jan 01 - Apple Tree
Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree
Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree
Jan 25 to Feb 03 - Cypress Tree
Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree
Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree
Feb 19 to Feb 28 - Pine Tree
Mar 01 to Mar 10 - Weeping Willow Tree
Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree
Mar 21 (only) -Oak Tree
Mar 22 to Mar 31 - Hazelnut Tree
Apr 01 to Apr 10 - Rowan Tree
Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree
Apr 21 to Apr 30 - Walnut Tree
May 01 to May 14 - Poplar Tree
May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree
May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree
Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree
Jun 24 (only) - Birch Tree
Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree
Jul 05 to Jul 14 - Fir Tree
Jul 15 to Jul 25 -Elm Tree
Jul 26 to Aug 04 - Cypress Tree
Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree
Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree
Aug 24 to Sep 02 - Pine Tree
Sep 03 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree
Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree
Sep 23 (only) - Olive Tree
Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree
Oct 04 to Oct 13 - Rowan Tree
Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree
Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree
Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree
Nov 22 to Dec 01 - Ash Tree
Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree
Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree
Dec 22 (only) - Beech Tree
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apple Tree (the Love) -- quiet and shy at times, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction, pleasant attitude, flirtatious smile, adventurous, sensitive, loyal in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, many talents, loves children, needs affectionate partner.
Ash Tree (the Ambition) -- extremely attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate, can be very egotistic, reliable, restless lover, sometimes money rules over the heart, demands attention, needs love and much emotional support.
Beech Tree (the Creative) -- has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.).
Birch Tree (the inspiration) -- vivacious, attractive, elegant, friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.
Cedar Tree (the Confidence) -- of rare strength, knows how to adapt, Likes unexpected presents, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, a great speaker, determined, often impatient, likes to impress others, has many talents, >industrious, healthy optimism, waits for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.
Chestnut Tree (the Honesty) -- of unusual stature, impressive, well-developed sense of justice, fun to be around, a planner, born diplomat, can be irritated easily, sensitive of others feelings, hard worker, sometimes acts superior, feels not understood at times, fiercely family oriented, very loyal in love, physically fit.
Cypress Tree (the Faithfulness) -- strong, muscular, adaptable, takes What life has to give but doesn't necessarily like it, strives to be content, optimistic, wants to be financially independent, wants love and affection, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered at times, can be unruly and careless, loves to gain knowledge, needs to be needed.
Elm Tree (the Noble-mindedness) -- pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.
Fig Tree (the Sensibility) -- very strong minded, a bit self-willed, honest, loyal, independent, hates contradiction or arguments, hard when wants to be, loves life and friends, enjoys children and animals, few sexual relationships, great sense of humor, has artistic talent and great intelligence.
Fir tree (the Mysterious) -- extraordinary taste, handles stress well, loves anything beautiful, stubborn, tends to care for those close to them, hard to trust others, yet a social butterfly, likes idleness and laziness After long demanding hours at work, rather modest, talented, unselfish, many friends, very reliable.
Hazelnut Tree (the Extraordinary) -- charming, sense of humor, very demanding but can also be very understanding, knows how to make a lasting impression, active fighter for social causes and politics, popular, quite moody, sexually oriented, honest, a perfectionist, has a precise sense of judgment and expects complete fairness.
Hornbeam Tree (the Good Taste) -- of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.
Lime Tree (the Doubt) - intelligent, hard working, accepts what life dishes out, but not before trying to change bad circumstances into good ones, hates fighting and stress, enjoys getaway vacations, may appear tough, but is actually soft and relenting, always willing to make sacrifices for family and friends, has many talents but not always enough time to use them, can become a complainer, great leadership qualities, is jealous at times but extremely loyal.
Maple Tree (Independence of Mind) -- no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.
Oak Tree (the Brave) -- robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground, person of action.
Olive Tree (the Wisdom) -- loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.
Pine Tree (the Peacemaker) -- loves agreeable company, craves peace and harmony, loves to help others, active imagination, likes to write poetry, not fashion conscious, great compassion, friendly to all, falls strongly in love but will leave if betrayed or lied to, emotionally soft, low self esteem, needs affection and reassurance.
Poplar Tree (the Uncertainty) -- looks very decorative, talented, not very self-confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, great artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.
Rowan Tree (the Sensitivity) -- full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.
Walnut Tree (the Passion) -- unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.
Weeping Willow (the Melancholy) - likes to be stress free, loves family life, full of hopes and dreams, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful, musically inclined, loves to travel to exotic places, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with when pressured, sometimes demanding, good intuition, suffers in love until they find that one loyal, steadfast partner; loves to make others laugh.

Day6

A boy and a girl, the best of friends.
From elementary to high school from beginning to end.
Through all those years their friendship grew.
They both felt the same, but neither knew.
Each waking moment since the day they met.
They both loved each other sunrise to sunset.
He was all she had in her terrible life.
He was the one who kept her from her knife.
She was his angel, she made him smile.
Though life threw him curves, she made it allworth while.
Then one day things went terribly wrong.
The next few weeks were like a very sad song.
He made her jealous on purpose he tried.
When the girl asked, "Do you love her?" on purposehe lied.
He played with jealousy like it was a game.
Little did he know Things would never be the same.
His plan was working but he had no clue.
How wrong things would go, the damage he would do.
One night she broke down, feeling very alone.
Just her and the blade, no one else home.
She dialed his number, he answered, "Hello"She told him she loved him and hung up the phone.
He raced to her house just a minute too late.
Found her lying in blood, her heart had no rate.
Beside her was a note, in it her confession.
Her love for this boy, her only obsession.
As he read the note, he knelt down and cried.
Grabbed her knife, that night they both died.
She was found in his arms, both of them dead.
Under her note his handwriting said:"I loved her so, she never knew.
All this time I loved her too."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Story of today.
Today I am late for work. First time ever since working. Gosh. All the clothes fault. =X
Time passes quite fast because my partner brought his korean 'Romance' vcd to work. And I watched it. Quite interesting. It was about a student falls in love with the teacher. And he said "Love doesn't consist of races. Age is just a digit."
Indeed age is not a matter to love. That's why more and more young adults dating guys who are in his 30s. That's the trend now. Perhaps. haha I found out something interesting about my partner. He loves romance movie alot. He will buy those korean, japanese and hong kong vcd to watch. Interesting huh? LOL.
Something more interesting happened..
I was watching this korean show until half way, I feel something on my leg. 1 glance, and I scream! Cockroach! A big disgusting cockroach was on my leg. Gosh. That's damn scary. A cockroach appear out of nowhere, scare the daylight out of me. Luckily my partner helped me to get rid of the cockroach. Thanks to him and my colleagues. =) Cheers.
How I wish I could get my pay earlier. I saw the date for getting my pay and it was like.. End of the new month somewhere around the friday of 3rd week? Man.. That's long.. But I am going to wait patiently. =) Money!

Home sweet home!

Weeeee!
It's finally weekend!
Can't wait till next weekend again.
Work is getting stress.
Bored with nothing to do.
So I bring newspaper to work everyday. hahaha!
My complexion is getting worst.
Pimples popping out! GOSH. *Screams.
Skin sensitive again. Sob.
So many construction work around my office. Weather so humid some more. Plus I always eat tibits in the office. =X I need to take good care of my skin.
UGLY!
I need to drink more water.

Ugly me. =(

Day 4

I feel stress.
I feel stress when my partner wanted an out.
So stress. Can you imagine that your partner say "I rather they don't pay me for the project than letting me wasting my time there." or "They can either pay me if i complete the project and they are satisfied about it." or "if they can let me have maybe 3days of working in a week."
Gosh. Can you ever do that to your partner?
I feel so stress when he mentions that. Plus he's outspoken, hardworking, helpful, eager to work and etc. Whereas I am lazy, stoner, quiet and etc. I feel pressurize when I am working with him. He's the one doing talking most of the time and I just keep quiet.
At time, there is not much thing for us to do. With two people in the office, when one person can handle the workload. The people there seems to like my partner a lot. Cos he's good in speaking english with them? He handle things well? That is the way church people are? Maybe they interact with lot of people that's why they are so social?
Sigh.
I am not clever nor social.
Sad.

Down.

Day2

Basically today is just another slacking day.
There is not much thing for us to do except do a documentation for every staff computer(system properties). Then we have to make a draft on how the current website is and what are the information that is missing etc. There is finally network connection, but the problem is.. We are only given intranet. Gosh. How can we survive for 5months? Oh man.
I am sorry my friend, I feel useless in being ur friend. I can't do anything to make you happy. I thought some day you will realise that we can actually be good buddy? I never want to make you upset nor want you to hate me. I am feeling stress. There is alway a border(line) for certain things. I know you want to make/see me happy. But somehow, things don't work out right for you. Patttttt~ How can a person lost the interest of liking someone by not seeing them? If this works, then why am I still like alvin? Love.. Grows not by looking at nor meeting them. It's a strange and beyond control thing. How can you ever control how much you are going to like/love that person? Sigh.
I.. am your good friend!
Don't be upset with me, can you?
=(
I am sick.
Very.

Goodnight everyone. Hug

Expect the unexpected

I finally get to see my attachment place. But.. I still not sure how to get there. If by walking, it will take 30mins! Oh my gosh. Should have check out those buses to there. =( At least I know how to get there by walking. dots.
When to G2000 with xx and joc. Whahahaha! I got the 20% coupon from xx. WEeeeeee! Joc and I each bought a collar shirt for 47bucks after discount. Gosh. Expensive. Knew my mum will surely nags at me. F> cheap and good material skirt. Rush off for piano after that. I was late for 30mins!
Met my family after class. Was quite excited about it cause I thought I can get a nice handphone today. Tired using my dummy phone. I want smart phone! ROAR. I don't want to be dummy owner. TT As usual, bad things alway happened. The shop doesn't allow using the 300bucks discount coupon that my bro had. Oh gosh. Can't they just be a bit nice? I wanted a new phone so badly that I even heartache when I spend money. Sigh. When will be my turn to get a new phone? Unfair life I have.

=/

A story

This is the story xx told me yesterday. I think it was pretty interesting, so I am going to post it.

The suicide story:
A girl was going to commit suicide as she thought life is meaningless for her.
So she jumped down from the 10th storey.
When she was falling..
At the 9th storey, she saw a couple quarrelling.
At the 8th storey, she saw man waiting for his family to come back to his side.
At the 7th storey, she saw a father ill-treating his children.
At the 6th storey, she saw a drunkard hitting his wife.
And so on..
Each storey she passed by, depicts a different story.
At the 2nd storey, she regretted jumping, she regretted committing suicide.
But it was too late, she landed dead on the 1st floor.
Upon hearing the noise, the neighbor's came out of their house and took a look.
The neighbors were glad that they are not the one committing suicide.

What is the moral of the story?
Close your eyes when jumping? So that you will not see too much? Of course not, silly!
Each person has their own story of life. Killing doesn't help at all.
People will alway regret at the last minute but often it was too late.
The best way to resolve a problem is to communicate with people.
___________________________________________________________________

Today met alvin on the bus. We have a short talk. Was quite surprised to see him on the bus. Kind of happy. =) He smiles when he's talking. Haha. I like the way he smiles. I was late for the paper. When in when the paper started. Could have been able to do it if I study. If only..
Perhaps sunday going to church with parky.
Have a nice talk with him yesterday.
Guilty.
Sinner.
Need to confess my sin.
=(
Sorry those who I hurt.
I am really sorry.

If nothing is forever, then what is forever for?

I feel bad. Really bad.
Treating u like this is what i will never do.
But seeing u feeling so useless yet i can't do anything to cheer u up.
Am i more useless than u?
If not why am i feeling it that way.
I want to hug u and cry.
But all i can do is to sit at one corner and cry alone.
I thought u will be happy with such decision, but i am wrong again.
I hurt u more than anyone else could.
I feel inhuman.
I feel guilty.
How can i ever face u again?
Sorry alvin. I am really sorry.
I once said before, if u want me to be there for u, i will.
But u didn't..
U told me not to wait for u.
Why?
U think it's meaningless to make me stay?
While i will be happier with other guys?
Is this being kind or being cruel?
Cos I don't know.
Crying doesn't help.
25th.. how can i ever forget this date?
Sigh.
The ring, the roses, the key chain and the toy.
How could i ever hurt someone like u so deeply?
I am foolish.
I am a fool!

Kill me!

If tomorrow never comes

What will you ever do if there is no tomorrow?
I have been thinking about it.
I guess that I am tired.
Vin called me in the morning.
We talked for a long time. Never feel that close to him for such a long time.
He asked me about xx. Quite surprise that he read my blog, thought he never will.
Perhaps certain things I think too much that led to who I am today.
I am sorry. I never mean to let u know about it so late. It was my fault. I blame no one.

Forgive me, will you?
Hugs.
Best wishes.
=)

Stars are cold comfort if all u ever want is the warmth of the sun.

I don't know my feelings.
I guess I don't even know myself.
For that moment, I don't know what to do.
But I know that I like you.
I just can't feel for him.
It's my fault.
I shouldn't like anyone.
Yes.
I am silly.
How can I be so dumb?
Maybe I should go for some brain wash.
Ha!
It will be good.
Weeee!
I am sick.
I feel like crying yet there is no tear.
Am I numb?
Perhaps.
Memories.
Last longer than reality.

daonebeythsuedonfwrdioln.

The Excursion

Welcome to the Ngee Ann poly excursion.
It's an excursion without consent form.
=X
When to newton hawker center with xx. It was not as crowded as I expect it to be. The food there is soso standard. Mostly are BBQ foods, quite similiar to chomp chomp. Except that Newton got more tables and chairs. We order fried carrot cake, hokkien mee, lala and stingray. Xx forgot the name for carrot cake and all he said was "Uncle, black one." whahahaha. So funny. When we're ready to go to somewhere cooler, we thought that was the end of the hotness, sweatness. But.. Something silly happened. I bought a bottle of mineral water and there is this plastic covering the cap. So I tear off the plastic and looking for place to throw it. Just then I notice a table with cups and can-drink that has no people sitting. I threw the rubbish into the cup and hear an uncle saying "Oi.. Oi..". I turned back and looked. The uncle was shouting at me. I panicked and asked xx to run. So we ran to the overhead bridge. LOL. How stupid can I be. That was the funniest moment.
Then we went to look for some cars. haha. Antique and vintage cars. Oh myy.. I want I want! We walked from newton hawker to little india. Quite fun. We visited KK hospital, little india and lastly, my play ground. Fun and enjoyable day.

25 words or less to describle me, to make me feel that I am beautiful.


Pathetic obsession over linn. LOL!





The foods that we ordered. The "black one". See, really so black.



The pic we took after copying someone victory sign. hahaha! Silly.

Poets often use many words to say a simple thing
But it takes thought and time and rhyme to make a poet sings

With music and words,
I will be playing
For you I have written a song

To be sure that you'll know what
I'm saying
I'll translate as I go along

Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On jupiter and mars

In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me

Fill my heart with song
And let me sing forever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore

In other words Pplease me true
In other words
I love you

The breeze of the night is cooling.
The feeling of sitting and slack is nice.
The holding make me feel confused.
I... Don't know what to do.
I can't make up my mind.
I am not ready for relationship.
I just want to rest. Stay happy and have fun.
Why can't it be simple?
I don't like complicated thing.
I never understand it.
Sigh.
I don't understand the meaning of like and love.
What exactly is it?
How I wish I am still a child.
Playground is the only way to make a child happy.
Ice cream doesn't make me happy anymore.
Am I growing up?
Sigh.
How can I love when I am confused.

Love, a complicated word.

V day

I went to school late! I am late by 1hour. It's a new record for me.
Then went to play CS with park they all. Have fun there. =) Thanks for the sun flower guys!
Went out with alvin. He bought me 3 pink roses. What does that mean? Happy to see flowers! =)
We have curry at bugis. Yum yum. Nice.
He said I shouldn't buy him expensive things anymore. But the wallet is really not expensive at all. Sigh. Buy him this, buy him that he doesn't appreciate. Whatever. bitcoenartebh.
I am tired.
I really feel sick of this kind of comment.
Good night.
Happy valentine's day.
Tomorrow will be better.
=)

The PM test today is difficult.
Linn is killed.
Comparision kills.
Died.
Depression.
Moody.
Sigh.

Roses

Have been folding roses since yesterday. It's tough.
Roses that are..
Red: means love, respect.
Light pink: Admiration, sympathy.
Deep pink: Gratitude, appreciation.
Single rose: Simplicity.
3 Red roses: I love you.
Etc..
Roses are often purchase for occassion e.g. valentine day.
Restuarants are often fully booked and rosed are selling at the price of $10 for 1 stalk.
What is so important about valentine's day that people are making a big deal out of it?
Valentine day is a day that lovers celebrate their love. Valentine's day can also be the day to confess the love for someone.
People are often excited about the day as they will anxious to find out who will present them with gifts and what is the gift. But it's not the gift alone that counts. It's the thought that went behind it, the time and effort made.
So what have u plan for your love one?
__________________________________________________________________
Alot of things can't be say.
Is it a long term or a short term?
Silly. Not me.
I think too much.
Tomorrow is a killer day! ROAR.
3 papers in a day. DIE. How am I going to cope with studies? =/

Regret are alway related with what ifs.

La-la-la

Zoo

The zoo trip we went today was fun! I'm quite excited about it. But the rain spoiled everything. Raining photo taking.
Animals hiding in their shether. Discover a lot of things about animals. I like raccoon and graffie. whahahahaha!
My brother got back his result. Better than mine. What a clever brother I have? Confident and smart? =.= i thought he was bullshit-ing about how well he can score but now, I got to admit that he's smart IF he works hard. Told alvin about it. Think he was happy too, didn't disappointed him after all his teaching. =) Thank you.
Was feeling quite moody. Somehow I don't feel like talking. Because of the weather? Must be. Certain thing I don't know how I should react.
Laugh? Smile?
Cry? Tears?
Stone? Blur?
Too many thing to think about. =/

Unwell.

Copycat house! messy messy. LOL! I become a cat too. meow~

I wish I wasn't

I'm home alone again.
And you're out, hanging with your friends.
So you say, but I know it's not quite that way.
It's getting pretty late and you haven't checked on me all day.
When i called, you didn't answer.
Now I'm feeling like you're ignoring me.

I wish that you were home.
Holding me, tight in your arms.
And I wish, I could go back
To the day before we met and skip my regret.

I wish I wasn't in love you.
So you couldn't hurt me.
It just ain't fair the way you treat me.
No, you don't deserve me.
Wasted my time thinking about you and you ain't never gone change.
I wish I wasn't in love with you.
So I wouldn't feel this way.
_________________________________________________
Keep on listening to this song.
It's a nice song.
Bright cheery day.
But I am down with flu.
BOo!
Theory is getting more and more tough.
I am confused with the the rules and position of notes.
I will spare a thought for you from now on.
No matter how disappointed it will be.
Yaa.
Life should be enjoyable.
Life can be easy yet seem difficult.
Life can be valuable but difficult to cherish.
Life can be bright!
lalala~

I. Miss. You.
=)

+Minds Game+

Minds game huh?
I am not a good guesser.
I am too lazy to guess.
Promises were made and forgotten.
Time passed fast, soon everyone will forget what really happened.
Let time proves everything..
My mum woke me up early in the morning.
Shouting and nagging at me.
I repelled.
I told her I am going to quit.
I hurt her.
And now she's not talking to me.
I just feel like slacking at times.
Just feel someone will be here to advise me, telling me why I shouldn't do this and that.
I looked around.
I am the only in my room.
Bed is my only comfort.
I just feel like sleep and sleep.
Run away.
I want to explore the world.
I want to see how people survive in different surrounding.
I want to learn how to speak up.
I want to learn how to be strong.
I just want..

I am just too weak.

+Sweetie+

Return home late as usual.
Talked to alvin on the phone. Was quite happy at first. Until he mentions that he's going for his class chalet. Then I was waiting for him to invite me? But he didn't. So.. I think about it again. Does he really need me? Why am I always feeling jealous? Why am I always feeling hurt? Maybe we both need to think. Really think hard. I can't even communicate well with him, how is he going to communicate with me. But when he really need me to be there, I will be there for him. =)
I am sorry to let you down, I love you anyway.
Life is full of ups and downs.
But it can be memorable at times.
That's why we need to learn to cherish things.
As usual, I am late again.
Mao is offline! ROAR.
Where you want to eat tomorrow?!
NUUUUuuuuuu!~

I am need hugging.
Can someone hug me please?

I..
Feel stress too.
Not only you feeling it this way.
Love is not suppose to be stressful nor pressurize.
I don't feel like doing anything.
Just too tired to carry on.
I can't even think for myself, let alone think for you.
I am too childish, stupid and clumsy.
We're two worlds apart.
Deeply..
Hurtful..
Meaningless..
I am sorry..

Lets stop..

+New Year+

Hello!
Happy New Year!
I am not satisfied with my hong bao. =X
So little. Getting lesser and lesser each day.
Went out with alvin today. Didn't go to river hong bao in the end. We went to visit larry's house. And his mum gave us $10 each! And gave his gf $40! So good. LOL. I think my relatives are all stingy people? =X Anyway, it's just a meaning of new year.
I drank alcohol. Wooo! I am not drunk! Never will be. =X haha.
I feel I let copycat down?
Feel so bad of disturbing him when he's gambling.
Alway online late. And he offline. Sorry cat.
I called out of no where. Alway like this. =X
Am I too strict to people?
Am I irritating when I am asking question?
=/
I am dense?
That is why I wanted to know more?
Guess so.

Smile more! =)

+Sweet+

Some of the best things in life are for free.
Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

The you in the past will do this. But what about the present?
Thoughts.

Anything but ordinary.

+Reunion+

Eaten my reunion dinner with my family members. =)
Feel so good!
Well.. Affairs of the heart....
Let nature take its course. =)
Why make myself upset when I can enjoy?
Give some thought to it.
I can be more happy!
Cheers to everyone.
Smiles.
Memories is alway memorable.
Life shouldn't get hold back by memories.
Else there will be no improvenment at all.
So great year to everyone!
Hugg.

Merry new year! =)

Feel good after having dinner together. Weee! Love my classmates. =)
Cheers~
Bought a skirt at collage today. In the end, I made mel they all wait for so long.
Sorry bro. =/ hugg.
Seriously, I don't know what to do. My heart belong no where. I just want to be loved. I feel so tired of crying in one corner. I feel so lonely at time. I feel so insecure. I don't like the way u answered my questions. I don't like the silence in the phone. Attachment is coming. There won't be any more time left for me. Your reaction is making me mad at times. I just want to run away. Just like how you did to me. I just need somebody to be there for me.
Somebody.
Tell me that you need me and I will be there.
Maybe I am a bad girlfriend afterall.
I just don't want to get involve in any relationship.
Don't hurt me.
I will cry.
I don't understand at all.

Emotionally unstable.

+Hearts+

Complicated heart.
Feeling will change.
It may be just a jolly moment.
It's a mistake.
Don't make me fall for you.
I am indecisive.
I want to hurt no one.
Even though I need someone to be there.
I am continue to be strong.
Continue to be independent.
Continue to walk on.
Continue to pretend.
Just let me be.

I am crazy.

Ton

Ton at my friend house yesterday to do a BIG project. Sleep for 1 or maybe 2 hours? Do the documentation at around 5 or 6am. LOL. so fun doing project together. We joked and slacked. In the end we rushed. Staying over is fun. But more girls next time please? =X I feel insecure. LOL.
But they showered me with care. hahahaha Love u guys. Even though I didn't contribute much. =/ Hugg. Copycat was so hyber yesterday. Everyone was dead. And he still down there talking talking, jumping around. LOL. Act cute. whahahaha! Behaving like a kitten. haha.
Skipped PM lesson today. Was vey tired. Sorry copycat, can't go home with ya. Anyway u got kian min. LOL! Or u wanted to go home with someone else? erhem. =X
Slept for quite long. End up never go out instead. =/ When i woke up, the first thing i did was to look at my handphone. I thought there will be miss call or sms. But there aren't his. =/ I didn't know what to do. Ps me the second time. Sigh. But anyway there will alway be a next time to go out. Tomorrow will be better.

Hopefully.

+hello+

Hello to my new friend who is viewing my blog now.
=.=
Accompany this lonely Copycat home.
Feel as if i am escorting a child home. =XX
What am I thinking huh?
Took 151 from np all the way to hougang interchange. Dots.
I must be insane. Oh noo.. Must be too tired to make sense.
LOL.
Anyway he showed me around hougang. Shop houses. And I discovered something. There is an auto door at the hougang shopping mall! haha. At such place, to think that there is auto door.
I ate tako! Octopus balls. I dropped one. And that silly person took it with his hand. PIG. =X So silly.
Took nel mrt home. And a stalker stalk me into the mrt! =X
So silly yet cute. bth. Never see such a guy before. hahahaha! indeed is COPYcat.
Still feeling quite exhausted. Feeling very heaty.
Feeling sick.

Praise the lord.

Ponders

Every time I think of you
I feel shot right through with a bolth of blue
It's no problem of mine but it's a problem I find
Living a life that I can't leave behind
There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
While every day my confusion grows
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say
I feel fine and I feel good
I'm feeling like I never should
Whenever I get this way, I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
I'm not sure what this could meant
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

How long are u going to run?

+Rainy day+

The rain continues for days.
Why is it so? Winter?
It's a good weather to sleep and slack.
I am beginning to go back to my bad habit. Sleeping in class! F5.
i just feel so bored. =/
Feel so tired after school tis few day.
As if I had not been resting for days.
Or is this growing old symptom?
=X
Is this what happened to park?
LOL.
I miss feiry.
I want outing. =)
Ya.
Did something extremely stupid today.
I broke 3 violin's fine tuner by sitting on it.
This show how heavy and stupid I am.
=X
Thanks to me, this is the BIG new in club house today.



It's amazing, isn't it? 4 fine tuners, now left 1.

I get down on my knee and pray.

Loneliness

I am still not use to the feeling of staying at home.
Used to go out with you.
Even through, we didn't talk that much when we meet, I still love the feeling of be out there with you.
But now, I got to stay at home. Nowhere to go.
Sigh.
Where are you? TT
Why didn't you msg me at all?
Sad.
For the whole day, I have been mapling and going to piano class.
There is nothing much for me to do.
You have been treating me cold.
Much colder than I expected.
So different from the past Alvin.
Very different.
What's going on?
Am I still dreaming?
Somebody tell me, please.
TT
Love, me.

I pray.

Thoughts

I want dress!
Ohh myyy.. I want the pink dress. I look nice! *wink
LOL! It's cheap too. Only about 45bucks! Buy for me, someone?
Have been feeling low since yesterday. It means alot?
It's your attitude. Give me an answer. Please. It's hurtful.
Tell me the truth. Will you?
If you want to hurt me, just hurt me once and for all. Or cherish me.
Think about it. =)
Thank you. =)

Time limits : 20th Floor.

I, tear.

Day after day
Time passed away
And I just can't get you off my mind
Nobody knows, I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can't find

The courage to show to letting you know
I've never felt so much love before
And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out

But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know if I let you go?

Night after night I hear myself say
Why can't this feeling just fade away?
There's no one like you
You speak to my heart
Its such a shame we're worlds apart

I'm too shy to ask, I'm too proud to lose
But sooner or later I've got to choose
And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out

But if I let u go, I will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know if I let you go?

If I let you go.

+Bad day+

Tico alert.
PUI!
An uncle riding bicycle approached me twice. Arghs. *stare Ask me whether I want extra service. I was...... feel like giving him a punch. Get a life! I got no phone with me. If he approaches me another time, I will make sure I call the police. Give you a hard time. =/
Guys.. This is what the world look like?
Got to deliver the cheque to funan. And went I reached funan, it was dizzling, not so bad.
When I came out of funan, I was raining heavily. Oh man. I waited and waited for the rain to go away. But the rain just getting bigger and bigger. Then finally when it's getting smaller a bit, I ran to the bus stop. Ran and ran. Reached the bus stop drenched. =/ Poor me. But soon, my bus arrived! yeah. Everyone in the bus was like looking at me. I just bath. LOL. A kind lady even offer me a packet of tissue. So nice of her. =))) Luckily, there is a warm side of the world. People in the bus will kind. Some offered seats to elderly people. This is a good sign. I feel so warm. =D
Today is 31th of dec 2005. Tomorrow will be a new year, 2006. So what is my resolution? Haven't think of one. I want to be happy and strong. I hope you will be happy too. =)

Cannot touch, cannot hold
Cannot be together
Cannot love, cannot kiss
Cannot have each other
Must be strong
And we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away from all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

Cannot dream
Cannot share sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel
Must pretend it's over
Must be brave
And we must go on
Must not say what we've known all along

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away from all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you

Must be brave
And we must be strong
Cannot say what we've know all along

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away from all of the memoris
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you when you are gone

How can I? :'(

I'd rather

I thought sometime alone
was what we really needed
You said this time would hurt more than it helps
but I couldn't see that
I thought it was the end
of a beautiful story
and so I left the one I loved at home to be alone
and I tried to find
out if this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've a change of heart

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart

An then I met someone
and thought she could replace you
we got a long just fine
we wasted time because she was not you
we had a lot of fun
though we knew we were faking
love was not impressed with our connection they were all lies, all lies
so I'm here cause I found one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
who holds my heart

I can't blame you if you turn away from me, like I've done you,
I can only prove the things I say with time,
please be mine.

I'd rather have bad times with you
than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm
than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together
than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart

I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart.

Who holds my heart.
Will you?

Christmas

It's over! Christmas is over.
Same for us?
My mind is in a haze.
I can't focus well.
I am simply lazy to think anymore.
U're right.
It takes more.
Frankly speaking, I have to admit that I never think of the future. But i know that relationship is not all days honeymoon. It takes alot of commitment. And I ignored your signal. I just care too much for myself. I am.. Selfish. I shouldn't hold you back when you can find someone even better than me and more committing than me. But.. I was really hoping that I can change for the better, change everything. Without thinking how to? How to.. Change? I am at the loss of words now. Is my feeling fighting against my own thinking now? I guess I am a feeler more than a thinker. Yaa.
I am not that hurt as last time. I just don't feel like crying anymore. It's tired to cry. Guess I am learning it well? I just feel so tired. Feel so dead. I am back to the don't know what to do stage. And i need someone there to guide me. =S
Sigh. Don't throw away the box. =X I will miss it.
What should I do now?
I got no emotion and innovation to draw.

Why am I moving forward when I know it's going to be a dead end?

Sighhhh.
Why have things turn out to be like this? :'(
Why when things get worst then we start to talk it out? Why must human being always wait till the last minute then they start to realize that actually they cherish each other a lot?
Why?
What is the root problem? What is/are the root cause(s)?
I don't know.
We get into relationship without knowing where it will lead us to. No one really know how a relationship will end up. And we are the one to decide it. To end it or continue. A strong relationship takes a lot of hard work. Commitment, compromise, care, share and time. It takes time to love someone as well as to be loved. Some time we love someone without getting anything in return. Love means living to make the other happy, not using each other for gain or satifaction, but giving without counting the cost, sometimes at great sacrifice.
In conclusion, it actually takes a lot to love someone, a lot of courage.
So why not make it better?
Scream.
No more i don't know this words.
Hearts may change.
Will you?
I promise for the better.

I heart feiry.

Bells..

Jiggle bells.. Jiggle bells.. Jiggle all the way~
Christmas is coming! WEee! Will i get MORE christmas present this year? Better not to think so much, or else I will make myself disappointed again.
=)
I haven't find anything to give him. howwwww? Days are getting nearer! *panick
Bag? Wallet? Sneakers? What to buy?
*ponders
Just gotten my attachment result. And I got the job. But.. I don't know how to go. LOL. This is another worry. Hopefully everything go well. Yeah yeah!
Just finished 1 project, which is SA. LOL. Learn alot. Bird flu and a lot of useful information. =) Great job guys.

I love my peers.
Hug.

esufnoc

After a long yesterday, finally I had my interview as well as role play done!
Hooray!
Went out with park, shufen and melvin. Had a great day with them. Melvin, you're a good entertainer. haha. It's a compliment. =)
Actually, I am feeling VERY sad. YA. Sometime, it really kills me. It's all about compromising. At times I feel I didn't treat him well enough. And at times I feel I am not being pamper enough. At times I feel... I am not clever enough. Most of the time, I feel Lost. Sigh.
It's five months. Time passes. And what I am feeling now is.. I really feel like giving up. I just don't know what else can I do? Maybe I didn't try at all? Maybe I didn't give enough. Maybe I am not good for him. Maybe I am.. Dumb. Am I really so useless?
Just like what u say? Tell you u may not know what exactly is. If never tell you, you will never know. So might as well don't say? This hurts. Ya. I hate that sentence A LOT.
Scream! I am so dumb and stupid.
Ya.
comparison kills.

How I wish so.
For U. For us. Forever. Ü

+Projjecctt+

Project! Project! PROJECTS!
Sigh.
I miss the old sweet days.
When can i meet u? My heart is missing u. Yep. =)
Lets meet often? LOL.
But I doubt that. This semester too many project to do. Kind of stress about projectS.
And next semester I will be having intern. Intern is just another name for project? Because intern is a more better term? haha. And by that time, I will be doing project for about 6months? Ohh myy. I wonder can i cope?
YES!
I need to work on project again.
I just need to..

Pissed off!
what the hell is that?
I feel so stress.
Projects meeting clashed.
So what am I suppose to say?
huh?
I never like project. Especially when people has different time table. So what can I do?
I really begin to hate school.
I want to run away from everything. Sigh.
And u can happily go to zouk and enjoy ur wonderful evening. Happy clubbing!
Dammit.
I feel so unwell.
Cold, flu, cough and tired.
I need to get some sleep.

Scream. Lost. Miserable.

LaTiDo

Disappointment.
If I am the judge, u're going to fail the test.
Dating etiquette is indeed different from what really happened in reality.
So how to judge a guy?
I, myself is not even sure of the answer.
What makes a girl unhappy?
Reason: A lots?
I am thinking too much again.
unhappy tears.

Hairy Potter, k6

Full house

Ohh myyy.. I love full house alot! So touching. Sigh. Can't stop watching. So funny and nice. Pretty girls and charming guys inside too. =X
Something is wrong with my hair. It looks weird. =/ My friend said my hair is ugly. BOO! Bad hair day. None of us satisfy with our hair. First time see her cry in public. We don't know what to do. Cheer up F1, smile! Ur hair really look alright, I like ur fringe. My fringe is short! I want longer fringe. VIP coupon please.
Lots of project coming up. Sigh. No more slacking days. ;(

She is expecting more.

Nov 2000 (paper1)

Question 5a

Sarah thrusted a green flag in her hand. "Go!" The crowd shouted loudly. My fingers slid on the slick white enamel of the Cherelle's steering wheel. All I needed was to concentrate on the drive and win the street racing by driving up the middle of the S-shaped curve.

I glanced at the side mirror, the nissan was only inches behind. I stepped on the accelerator and sped at least one meter in front of the nissan. The highway was the most dangerous roas for racing. I decided to take up this challenge because I needed the money so badly to buy a new car instead of sticking with my old Chevelle car.

Within five minutes, the Nissan inched in front of my car. I sped up and was driving side by side with the Nissan. When I reached the next turn, fear started to grip me as my car swung crazily into the next turn, an S-shaped curve. I jerked the wheel hard, straightening the car out. To my terror, speeding on the S-shaped curve was not as easy as I thought. I pumped the brakes as I hit the middle of the S-curve. However the Nissan was out of control. The Nissan lurched to the right and smashed hard into my car. I uttered a startled cry as the Nissan bumped hard against the passenger side of my car. Then the door flew open and I was flung out of the car due to the impact. I hit hard onto the parement, pain burned through my entire body. Then I heard shattering glass and the groan of bending metal. I blinked my eyes until I could focus. I peered down the road. I saw the Nissan roll over completely, landing back on its tires. The driver was completely stuck inside and his body was covered with deep cuts by the shattering glass. "Help! Help!" The driver was screaming weakly. The Nissan rocked for a moment. Then it exploded. I felt a blast of hot air as the cas exploded. Thick smoke filled the air and choked my throat. I pulled myself to my knees, struggling to breath and see. By then, the Nissan was already blazing away like a fireball.

Tears streamed down my face and I laughed until I choked. "I won! I won the race!" I laughed hysterically. Hobbling towards my car, I drove away silently. I was not going to admit the mess I created.

What goes around, comes around.

Disappointment.
I thought i could get my pay by today. But I couldn't. Dammit. Why is my boss always lie to me? What kind of boss is him?
=(((((((((((((
I want my pay! Arghs.
Boo!
Pui!
Pay me!

Don't know what to blog about.
Why didn't u tell me u're going back to school as well?
We could have go to school together. But u didn't.
Hmmm.. Where are the old happy times? Gone far far away. The longer the relation, the closer we should be? I feel so lifeless. Only when I am working, I feel the reality. =/ I think I am addicted to work. Sigh. Maple no longer look fun to me. It's a boring game.
I... am.. Workaholic?
Love breeds worry, love breeds fear. Love breeds happiness but it also breeds sadness.

Pohspot

Woooohooo!
I am back! Back from work and school.
Awwww! I really enjoy working there. =( Got to meet a lot of people. Enjoy the freedom of working there. Plus when I am on quite 'good' relation with them, i can't work. =/ Just like what jocyceline said? Life is unfair? Yaa. My boss said the banking is in process. So when is my pay going to reach me? I waited for so long. Booo! I want my pay! I wanna buy clothes from topshop, zara, brown jeans, bags and slippers. I want alot of stuff! I just need to work and work and work to support my own expenses. Feel really POOR.
Hi everyone, my name is a****. *wave. LOL.
I guess I am a bit crazy today. No idea why. Suddenly the teacher make me so high. I miss my job! I wanna continue to work there. Sigh. I wanna work in T******. Is my wish going to come true? blink blink.

I feel great there.

Pepp pepp

From This Moment On

(I do swear that I'll always be there. I'd give anything and everything and I will always care. Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better, for worse, I will love you
With every beat of my heart.)

From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on

From this moment I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love I'd give my last breath
From this moment on

I give my hand to you with all my heart
I can't wait to live my life with you, I can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on

You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment
I will love you as long as I live
From this moment on

>>> From This Moment On =)

Kill me.

I could no longer smile. No longer think. No longer see.
Every emotion in me is dead.
Just like those trees in the lonely winter.
The street is deserted. Everyone is hiding in their warm cozy home. The cemetery is filled with bitterness snow.
Tears could no longer be felt. For they turned into ice.
I feel like a fool belonging to no where. Walking pass every tomb stone send a chill up my spine. I feel lonely. But those loneliness eventually add up, turning them into emptiness.
How is heaven like? A white place fills with smiling angels? Or is it a place fills with emptiness?
Once someone told me, every emotion will fade off when you're dead. So what if a human no longer have any emotion? They are call living dead?
I am blind. I ignored every signs that you made. I took them for granted.
Today is a bad day. Walking on the streets alone, I see myself being too dependent on others. I... Don't know what is right and what is wrong. I am weakling.
Screammmm! Yep yep. I can't control my emotions.
Stupid me.

I am closing my eyes.

No title

Holiday will end in one week time. And it is schooling again when everyone else is having holiday. booo! But I can't wait for school reopen, even though I hate schooling. By then, I will be able to get daily allowance. Yes! Money money. I love money and I need them badly. Who doesn't? Sigh. My boss really dislike me. I am such a blur queen. =/ Messed up my job schedule and my cca performance day. There goes my job. Cca is making me crazy. I don't enjoy going to school. I don't enjoy playing the same old song again and again. I don't enjoy going there and get 'suan' by other people. I don't enjoy no time for shopping. I am anti-social. Introvert. Living in my own world. Yes yes. I guess Alvin is feeling unlucky to have a gf like me. Sigh. Booo! Stupid linn.
Joc didn't get the same IS duration 2 as us, she got into jap class. Stupid Npal system. Keep on giving error, making the webby lag. Was thinking that I can change my bis etiquette to jap but then that's my duration 1 module. And she got jap for duration 2. =/ Think she can appeal?

I want brown jeans.
I want new sandals.
I want lot of tops.
I want money.

Bad girlfriend.

+Love+

Love in its purest form is the sweetest.
When it experiences the bitterness of rejection it retreats into its cave,afraid to venture out in search of adventure again.
When love dies out, it loses its ambience.
The burning flames that fuels one passion comes from within one's determination to overcome tribulations, and the selflessness to love and be love again.
In the face of adversities the true love will not succumb nor crumble.
To fulfill its purpose, love needs compromise.
Yet the harsh reality of love is ironically a two face deception filled with exhilaration and emptiness at two ends.

Are we?

stupid noochy!

Welll! I am really a fool!
Someone scam my money in ms. FCUK! Damn that person.
I feel so stupid! Arghs. My 700k mesos. Fcuk! Well done noochy. Poor noochy in real life and as well as ms. hahahhaha!
yaya. FOOL! Nobody is going to help me. Feel so useless. Sigh. Feel so POOR. I want that kitty so badly. kitty.. kitty.. And he only knows how to say? HA! Guess I have a good taste in choosing people. I don't know. Feel so sad. Feel so stupid. Sigh. No point of crying like a baby. My eyes are swollen. Sigh. Forgot about it. Forget about everything. I should find myself a job and support myself. Nobody is going to support me. Not going to rely on anyone. Well.. I am going to be independent. ya. That's noochy. Lone-ranger noochy.

/find xdarkstarx

oh noochy!

Gosh.. Days passed so fast. His birthday is over! hoorayy? LOL =X just kidding. I wanna save more money! GG5 top, please wait for me. I wanna buy tops, a brown jeans and sandals. Money!
Work for one day. Guess the boss doesn't like girls? boooo! When is he going to pay me? LOL I feel so poor and unwanted. Feeling quite depressed for the past few weeks? Yaa. Having depression? Maybe. haha!

Love me.
Care me.
Want me.
money me.
=X

dead, noochy!

AP

Attitude problem! Alert. Alert.
Got back my internal theory paper. BOOOO! Such a disappointment. Just pass. I want to get distintion. =((((( I want to work hard. VERY hard.
Arghs. Money stress. Sigh.
Went to bugis after theory lesson. Gosh. I almost faint when I look at the wallets. Pc wallets, cost around 71bucks. Ohh myy! Money money! Are they going to fall from the sky? Please drop some money for my sake. =X After doing my calculation, I got no such money to buy the wallet. Add up my allowance, I only got 50bucks. Sooobbb! Feel like buying bag for him. His bag look quite old. Bag.. Where to find cheap and good bag? Top shop bag expensive? LOL. I think I might rob the bank. I need money! I want to buy good present. =((((((((( Daddy.. Where is my sugar daddy? Sigh.

I need money. =(

+The result+

EEEKKKK!
I got back such a bad result. Sigh. What's going on? Need to study more. =(
Well.. i really need a job! BOOO! No money equals to no shopping. SIGH.
Practices seem to be boring for me now. Don't feel like going back to school. BORING!
I feel bored. =/

+The idea+

Hooray!
IT's getting nearer each day. LOL.
Some how when the day come, I scare I will make a mess out of it.
God please bless me. Let me create a wonderful day for him. =)
He's going to tutor my bro for sub science. LOL. Today will be his first day. hahaha! Hope everything goes well for him.
Prepare prepare! WEEeeeee!
Watched corpse bride. Funny show. hahaha! Enjoyed myself today. =)

+Love is a powerful word+

HA!

I am backkk!
Back from chalet. Back from pub. Back from everything. =X
Enjoyed myself for the past few days. Wooohooo!
Love hanging out with my friends. Especially when you don't have to spend any money when going out with them. =X Guess I am cheapo. whahaha.
But I just love it.
Simply because I have no money. Yaa.
F> sugar daddy, who can sponsor me everything. LOL
Money is so important. Sigh.
If only.. I can have a rich parents. Then.. I will go out everyday. Have fun with my friends. BOOO!
But I am not.
Am I calculative? I had no idea.
Hmm.. Asked him whether he could tutor my bro for combined science. He asked me how much my mum going to pay him. hahaha! Calculative huh? Maybe I think too much? huh? I thought he is willing to teach for free? Your girlfriend's bro. Am I cheapo? Is this call cheapo? LOL I don't know.
Apparently my network seems to have difficulties reaching his network.
hahhaaha! I am thinking too much.
BOOO!

I am cheapo.

Sigh.
I don't know. It was confusing. Silence.
What's more for us to say? Nothing?
Maybe it's true.
I feel alone.
Maybe there is something wrong with me. Ya. maybe?
I need to get away. Far far away.
Sighhh.
Maybe should stop mapling awhile.
I should sort out my thinking.
Sighh.

+Yeah+

WEEEE!
It's our 3rd month anniversary! YES!
Didn't prepare gift for him as I am lacking of ideas. Was preparing for him birthday? Yup yup on budget. His birthday is coming.. Hope to give him a BIG surprise. XD
I received flower from alvin. =))))))
Went to Esplanade again? hahaha. Long time even since we last went there. Nice scenery and air was cooling. It was a fantastic night especially with flower. haha =X
Love him always. Thanks for the flower.

+camp over+

WEEEEEEE!
It's over! The camp is finally over. =X I am so excited about it. I am back home playing maple again. hohohoho. The slacking season is here again. Now I need a job. To buy clothes and doll myself up. LOL. Long time ever since I wear nice nice le. whahaha. Finally no longer need to eat scramble eggs with extra ingredient for breakfast. BOOO! yucks.
I am damn tired yesterday. Run here and there, prepare for bbq. The raw foods should have taken out of the fridge at least 1 hour before. But think nobody take note of it. Was very busy, got to de-frozen those raw foods. Then got to make sure everyone eat something. Lets not talk about it. It's over.
Was feeling kind of unwell this few day. Emotional.
Sorry for scolding U. =(

+Us+

When to holland village with Alvin today. Explored there. Lots of shop houses. There is a bead shop. When in and have a look. Spent most of our time there. Bought some beads. Feel quite bad as I think Alvin is bored. =/
I was joking about the flower(s).

Break the silence.

Sorry.

+Gogogo+

HOOOOoraaaaayyy!
Exams were over! i am already enjoying myself. LOL. Went for movie just now. And it was damn nice! The longest yard. Nice movie. =) Funny guy. Went shopping the whole afternoon with cheng ju just get a present for yc. BOOO! Keep on walk and walk. From heeren to far east. in the end just buy him a cap. hahaha. So silly. =X Then we talk about going taiwan. hahaha. he says he can help me pay for everything if I wanna go taiwan. Because taiwan is his home town. So bloodly good. Make me even more tempting to go. haha. See how things go bah. Friendsss..
Yaa. Think Alvin is unhappy. Sorry. Did I say sometime wrong? =/

Dead

Aiks.
I can't memorise a single things. Don't understand what's it all about.
Helpss.
Hope tomorrow paper is not going to be a tough one.
Don't let me stone.

Sickening

Nothing to hide about. BOOO!
Get a scolding from my parents.
This is nothing to me.
=)

Linn()

Just wake up from the afternoon nap. Went to school for DB paper early in the morning. I am the earliest of all. Muahahaha. Finally make it on time. I am so tired today that I don't feel like waking up. Aiks. DB paper was okay. Except that the ER-diagram is tough and last question is a bit tricky. Was feeling unwell during the paper, luckily got a nice invigilator sponsor me tissue. Haha. After that paper, we went to find our OOP teacher. I am disappointed again. Sigh. Got back my assignment result. And it wasn't good at all. I was thinking if I get a B, at least a B then tomorrow paper if I got a D, at least I will still got a C grade for average. Soobbbbb! Tomorrow is going to be a tough day for me. And I am not feeling well. Feel like I am going to have sore throat. Maybe I am hoping that I will be sick? haha.
From young I have been worrying what future I will be having.
When I am in primary school, I worry about PSLE. Worry about what secondary school I will be going to.
When I get into a secondary school, I worrying about what class I will be going into, what friends I will be meeting, how will my class be like.
During O level, I worry about whether I can get into Poly or not. Wondering if I could really make it into poly. I aimed to get into accountancy course. But end up I got into IT. My hope clashed.
Then I start to worry about my future again. What can I be in the future in order to use what I learnt in the IT? The answer is still unknown.
Here again, I am worrying about tomorrow exams and the future exams. How will it be like?
For the past 18 years i have been worrying about this and that. When will this worrying be stopped?
Feel the stress of future unsecure.
Aiks.
Hate the feeling of worrying.

Worrying about tomorrow OOP paper.

Wonders..

Ponders.. Wonders..
What will the questions be like for database tomorrow? Will it be easy or will it be tough? Will it be tricky or will it be simple? Will I pass or fail? Questions! Flowing in my mind. Just now went back to school to study with Steve, weiwah, yeesheng, zhi wei and guang lin. haha! Guang lin is so funny today. Is he too stress over exams that he was joking every minute? That's a bit scary. hahaha! But I found myself laughing at his silly jokes. =) That's friendship. Enjoy this type of cheerfulness. WEEEEeee! Friends forever.
Wanted to wait for u so that we could go home together? But then, u say u're going home. Heart sink. Going home with your friends? Yaa. And you say u miss me a lot, never see each other for past few days? Hmmm.. You could have volunteer to fetch me home. But you didn't. I also didn't say anything else. Heart sink again when you sound kind of frustrated because you can't click on the coupon I gave you? Well.. I was silent the very minute. I don't intend to talk anymore. So I just sigh. Yaa. Sigh. Wonders a lot.. Maybe I am too sensitive..

Good luck everyone. Including me. =)

Examssss

Ahhh! Exams are getting nearer and I still haven't study finished a single module. BOOO! Can't concentrate. Too many distractions. Tend to walk around my house. Play piano. Use laptop, play maple. AHH. Kelvin says mix around with friends who are studying. Hmm.. who? hahaha. I will end up talking with them? No idea. Sigh. DEAD. Dead. dead. Alvin is studying in school with his classmates. And I am slacking at home. EEEKKK! Kelvin....... Help me. Give me half of ur brain will do. =(

Days are getting near.

No title

Not in the mood. Pms?
I don't know what am I thinking.
Feel so lonely.
Waste my day away again.
What am I suppose to do? To make u happy?
BOOO!
I feel so tired.
I am a pampered girl.
I am... feeling lonely.
Unsatisfied.
Sigh.

+Sha-la-la-la-la+

I am back!
Chalet was fun!
Enjoyed myself there. whahahaha! Went to Alvin's sister, Alina, 21th birthday chalet on Friday. I intend to met Alvin at bugis because I need to buy my theory papers at peace center. On the way there, I met pc! Ohh myy. I was wondering who is this girl. Then suddenly she turned her face, I was shocked. So coincidence. WEEE~ I miss pc! Miss a lot of classmates. Didn't talked much with her because both of us is not taking the same route. Can't meet up with her this weekend. So sad. Shall plan again. Reached the shop. This time, the shop is opened. hahaha! Finally, I got my 2003&2004 theory exam papers. AHHH~ So expensive. Two papers cost me 16.75bucks. Then I walked to Bugis. Then we bought a necklace for his sister from perlini. And then proceed to Pasir ris. Went to the NTUC over there to buy sakae. He wanna make his sister drunk? =X Met his parents in the bus. Ohh myy. His parents are quite friendly? Maybe because they thought I am their daughter friend? Yaa. Should be. His parents are strict with them. They want them to concentrate on their studies first. But they don't know that both of their children are already involving in a relationship. haha! Alina is a friendly girl and funny girl. Interesting person. Her boyfriend, Larry, was there too. Clicked quite well with Alina friends. We're joking about being Les while Alvin and Larry are gay. hahaha! So funny and gross. Alvin was calling Larry dear. EEEKKK! Disgusting. Have a great talk with Alina yesterday. Girls talk. haha! We'll talking about guys ego. Yup. Need to understand Alvin more. haha. =)
When the bbq was over, we drank volka Origin? The taste is so strong that when I drank the first slip, I was... Hate that taste. I am not supposed to drink it that way because the volka need to be mixed with soft drink. whahahaha! Stupid me. The volka contain 40% alcohol. Ohh noo. After that cup, I was abit dizzy. I knew I need to rest a while. Don't know is it because I am tired or abit drank? Rest a while. When I am feeling quite alright, we went to beach to play sparkles. Missed playing sparkles. Took quite a lot of pictures. Happy times always passes fast. Then.. Alvin piggy back me from the beach to the chalet. Raced with Larry. I was touched. Because he was sweating like hell when we reached the chalet. Even though I was shouting "Put me down" on the way back to chalet, but I didn't mean anything bad. Didn't want you to hurt urself. Reached home around 11am plus today. Sleep all the way till 7pm. Had a great night yesterday. =)

+Lovely memories+

+BOO+

Yes! The exact title for today. Feeling bad. Feeling tired. Feeling poor. YAAA! BOO! Went for the ushering thingy. Luckily Johnathan accompany me awhile during the ushering. It's damn boring. And we're feeling thirsty. There is no free water for ushers. =( sob. Saw melvin! *blink blink. haha. BOOO! Wanna act as if he's one of those award receivers. Knew he was there for the free foods too! Muahahaha. Finally, the prize giving ceremony starts, it's more interesting. hahaha! Got NRA! WEEEE! Love their dance. So hip hop and cute too. Then we got free foods to eat! whahaha! alot of variety. Yummy. I love free foods. Hmm.. I am so broke recently. It's damn broke. Got to buy piano theory papers, go out with pc, chalet and camp. EEEKKK! Hate it. I am poor. =( Sigh. Exams coming. Sighhh. Stress. Yucks!

+Our Day+

WOOOHOOO!~
Happy 2nd Anniversary!
We didn't went out to celebrate that day, because he got to teach juniors guitar. Was quite disappointed again. But after reading the letter he wrote to me, I was quite alright. haha. Stone in club house. Manage to find a laptop and played warcraft3. Quite enjoy the game. Weee! New game. hahaha. He accompany me home. Didn't talk much in bus. Guess because he feels guilty for not bringing me out? =) I am not unhappy. Just thinking why am I so easily disappointed. Are my expectation too high? Maybe. haha. Gave him his present. Hope he likes it. Quite messy with the card. The markers ran out of ink. It's the thoughts not the appearance. hahaha! At least it's some kind of hand make thing. Love hand make things *hint hint.
Yesterday went to east coast for cat's birthday bbq. Enjoyed myself alot! Ate alot of foods. WEEE! Free foods, I'm loving it. hahahaha! Most of all, I love alvin. whahaha! We met at bishan before going to east coast. And he bought me ring. whahaha! Propose? =X He doesn't know my size, that's why he wants me to meet him. =) Love him. Went to east coast happily. Melissa they all haven't reach yet. So we went to the break water there and sit. The scenery is so romantic. AWWW! He put on the ring for me. AAHHH~ I was feeling so loved at that moment. whahahaha! So sweet. Love him. XD

+Good game+

Damn.
I lost my star hair pin on the way to meet Alvin. Sigh. My favourite. Feel like crying when I discovered that my hair pin was gone. Damn stressed.
Baked cookies for so longgg. The longest of all. Damn. Spent too much time on those cookies. =(
I am so tired now. Haven't do my ECID project yet. And guess what? Tomorrow I am having a group meeting to combine our work for the project. Fcuk. Didn't even study for tomorrow NF test. I am damn tired. Think I got kidney problem. My left side of my back was hurting just now. So painful that I can't stand straight. I can't sleep late anymore. Damn exhausted. Fcuk. I should stop here.

+I miss you+

+Fireworks+

WEEEEEEE!
Went to marina south with Alvin and his friends to see fireworks. hahaha. I enjoyed myself! Beautiful fireworks! NICE! Too bad shufen can only hear the sound of fireworks from her house. hahahaha! Love that moment. Wanted to say something to him. But in the end, I don't have the courage. Sigh. Such a waste. I mean, sometime some words/actions are only mean to be say/do in romantic moment. Aiks. Nevermind. I will pluck up the courage for the next time. =) We stayed in marina south until 1am plus. Then took mrt home. I want to treat him more better from today onwards. Feel like I haven't been a good girlfriend. Yuck. His classmate said, "Alvin treats you very good." I was.. Ya. Come to think about it. Yes, he treats me extremely good. Yet I still so demanding. Should be. Yes. Goal for this month, treat you more better.
So many projects to rush for. Arghs. EBF, DB, OOP and ECID. Ohh nooooo!

+Love ya, love me+

+That Moment+

Hmmm.. Just reached home and talked to alvin on the phone. Quite upset. My eyes were filled with tears with he said "Maybe I am going to quit NPS too." I was.. Speechless. Yes. For that moment, I am going to cry. But I hold on to my tears. I asked, "then, we will have lesser time to meet." and he said, "Ya." I was... Sigh. Hmmm.. Don't know what is going on. Maybe he really busy until he wanted to quit NPS. Then he added on.. "Maybe only." Well, who knows? Look at micheal. Micheal is alway joking around, being friendly to other. But now, he's quitting NPS. What is going on? I feel so sian of our relationship. Started too fast. Now is kind of i don't know what to do. Sigh. I told marcus about this. And he says I think too much. But am I really thinking too much? Some how I can feel alvin is sian too. Have some talk with him today. Hmm.. Kind of alright. I still don't dare to ask him about the problem that is on my mind. Maybe some times later bah. I feel that if alvin really so busy, then.. then... Maybe we should do something about it. Hmm.. I am a strong girl. Yup. Shouldn't be too upset. But for now, I don't know what to do. Feel like talking to someone about my problem. But then.. I will end up crying. So.. Well.. Let it bury deep inside my heart. Yaa. =)
I am not good for you.
Maybe I am thinking too much.
Maybe. Just maybe.
Somehow, things don't taste the same.
Maybe. Just maybe.
Teach me. How to be strong.
Teach me. Just teach me.

+From that moment onwards+

+No mood+

Started my day quite alright but then PMS got hold of me. I'm feeling totally unhappy. Yaa. Unhappy. Cheer me up. But u didn't. U sound a bit unhappy just now. From that moment onward, I don't even feel like talking to anyone. I know I am slow and dumb. Don't have to talk to me in such a way. Everyone is feeling tired. Ya. We're both feeling tired. Not in the mood for whatever stuff. Arghs. Hate PMS. Cheer me up. Someone please cheer me up.
Unhappy. Upset.
This is not what I want.