Long weekend.

Long weekend for me. Hooray.
I dread working without salary.
Sigh. When will they give us our salary? When?
End of the 5months attachment? Gosh. Then I will be suddenly rich, shopping spree.
Whahahahahaha!
I just recalled what my mum told me few days ago.
There are a few construction companys that are under gov. And there is a main gov office that is in charge of paying those construction companys. Yet those construction companys just close down one by one few years ago. The reason is because the the main office never pay them their salary. The main office received the salary and they just keep it to themselves. F5.
This is ridicious.
What if this is going to be what happen to me? TT.
I got no money for shopping. So sad.
I was so sad today. Sigh.
I'm too stupid to work with anyone. *knock my head against the wall
I got no comment for his question.
I brought u to the old airport road market that my friends recommended me. And U said "here like nothing to eat leh." I was.. speechless. U can take the umbrella if u want to. But u just want me to carry it. That's too clever of u. And u scold me stupid when it starts raining.
Working with people I don't know is never easy for me. Because I am anti-social.
I want to go back to school. I want to be with my friends. I am sensitive.
I want to cry. Seriously for the whole day I have been thinking how does crying define how strong a person can be?

Sunday:
T11 outing! So long never see my monday bf and he still treat us so good. He pay for almost everything that day. LOL. Good bf. We met up at Al meen at 6.30pm. The meeting time was supposed to be 6.30pm but end up all of us were late. We reached there around 7pm. The coffee shops were crowded, guess because it was a weekend and tomorrow is a holiday! We found empty tables and chairs in the air-con Al meen. Even through it was air-con, but how come everyone prefer to sit in the open space/not air-con?
After the dinner we rushed to June's working place as it was already 8.30pm. Tasted her ice cream. I love ice cream. =) Enjoy having ice cream especially people treat me. LOL. Thanks monday bf. Then went to holland V. June waiting for ball and his cakes. LOL. *drools. I love the strawberry one! Nice nice!


The surprise that Joc wanted to give us. It's a surprise to me. LOL. Antique bah? The sweets that we used to like when we're young. U know why? Because it looks like cigarette. Hahaha Don't be surprise to see us "smoking" in class. Thanks joc. Hugs.


Monday:
Went to suntec with my bro for his handphone to be serviced as the dictionary applicantion can't be open. We're the last customer of the day before it closing! Look how empty it was. We're the only two left in the shop. So scary. What if someone kidnap us? What if we're being locked in the shop? But afraid no more, my bro will protect me. Hor bro? =X LOL.
Then we went to shop for foods. Took a bit at Auntie Anne, treat my bro chocolate mint. It was so sweet, should drink more water after that.


Ya, then we headed to cafu. And bought sushi. Wee! We're sushi lovers! Love it. And of course, we didn't buy any of the packet in the picture. LOL. It's too much for us and expensive. =X unless there is someone who want to buy for us. We won't mind ur offer. XD


Let us see some soft toy. Our first character will be doramon. The family consists of papa, mama and son. LOL. When kitty and doramon meet, they don't talk at all. Guess why? Because kitty has no mouth to talk and doramon has no ear to listen. hahahaha!
The next character will be Chip or Dale? I think is Dale, Dale never wear hat. hahaha! Dale is so cute. Awww.. I love anything that look like squirrel. =) One of my favour character other than hamtaro!
The third character is minnie mouse that is well known to everyone. Yeah. And it's in purple. Of all the color(green, orange and purple) I took picture of the purple one, know why? Because I'm bijou. >.<

Tired. Exhausted. Sleepy.

Scammer!

Dammit.
This is not the first time I am complaining about my salary.
I really feel like scolding all the vulgarities that I know.
It has been months since I started my attachment in the gov company.
And guess what? While all the rest of my working friends had already gotten their 2nd month salary, I DID NOT even get my 1st month salary.
Wth.
This is making me feeling frustrated.
VERY.
I will definitely slam the door, punch the bean bag, smash the glass panel and etc.
By right, our first month salary SHOULD be credited into our account by 25th of april. And hell, today is already 29th of april. Look here, I said 1st month. Let alone say my 2nd month salary.
Blardy hell. I am really fed up with excuses.
I want my salary.
The bill is coming. And I totally got no money to pay for anything.
Good luck linn.

DAMN U.

Extremely!

Wong Ai Lin -- [adjective]: Extremely extreme! 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

LOL! Extremely extreme! Am I?
Extreme : Tremendous, great, severe, intense, acute, excessive or farthest.
I feel bored again. =/
Lets try the name Linn.

linn -- [noun]: A beat poet working the streets 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

LOL. Beat poet? Sound so pathetic and sound like I am a pauper. I am NOT. Maybe that's the reason I have been whining about money. But the fact is I haven't get my pay! When will it be deposited into my account? Boo!

Lesson of life values.
My piano teacher taught me quite a number of life thoery today.
People should learn to appreciate arts.
Arts can be in many forms. Music, drawing and poetry etc.
Those people who doesn't like arts = no value in life = no life
In arts, you get to learn why some artists love to draw picture in certain way. What are they trying to tell us? What does their painting depicts? A picture of their life? Or a picture that shows other people life?
Invisible things make visible things.
I remembered this sentence she said.
The needs of human. Example: thirst.
The feeling of thirsty is invisble. That's why human invented cups to contain water. Cups = visible. This is how invisble things make visble things.
That's why they have drama plays. Sometime we see ourselves in the character and met the same situation. But, will we ever do the same as them to solve the problem or is we will choose other alternative? A better way? Why is it better? Often we are not satisfy with our needs. We tend to get influence by people around us. We love comparison. Comparison become part of us that whenever we saw others have something that we don't have and we compared. He can afford, so why can't I? This is how human become materialistic. The society we lived in. Children grow up in the fast pace society. How parents affect their children mindset. Parents comparing which school their children got into. Children comparing how much their parents earned. This is how comparison begins. This is how high society look down on the average people? Perhaps that apply for certain people. You dress with gucci clothings, doesn't means that people around you must dress the same in order to be your friend. If everyone dress the same, think the same as you, then there won't be any interesting things happening. You can afford this doesn't means that people around you could afford too. Never look down on people, because one day, you might not know you might end up in their shoes. Even though no matter how demanding the society is, we need to have our own standard, our own expectation. And that doesn't means that once we become rich or highly respected, we can look down on others. This is not contradicting, or am I?
Life can appear to be simple. But what's beneath it, you may never know. You can see some couples appear to be happy when others are around. Yet beneath the relation, they may have quarrels and disagreements with each other. Ha..
The values of life. There are still lots of things for me to explore.
I learnt alot of things from my secondary school friends I met up with today. Their life, their family and their friends. My life, my family and my friends. :)

Life is great.

Dayss

Monday:
My Birthday! Went out with family to 'The French Stall' located at Sturdee Rd North somewhere near upper serangoon. As it was our first time eating there, we're not sure of what are the restuarant best dish. So I ordered steamed dory filet with mixed vegetable and mussel and my family ordered 3-course set meals(soup of the day, main course and dessert). We ate until we felt our stomach is going to explode anytime. The bus ride home was scary. As they are many people crowded at the exit, my mum and bro were having difficulty getting down the bus. As I know, adults normally were afraid of the double charge of bus fare, so they will be conscious of tapping their e-zine card on the machine before alighting, so my mum was one of those adults, she tapped my bro and her e-zine card and when they are alighting, the bus moved out of a sudden. Gosh. And the exit is not closed at all. Bloody driver. Luckily nothing happened to them.
Introducing the dory filet.


Tuesday:
I was late for my work today.
This is the latest timing that I was late so far. I left the house late. To most of the people, when they know that they are going to be late for work, they will choose to hire a cab. But for me is different. I guess so. I was cheapo. I don't want to waste money on cab when I didn't even get my previous month pay after working for about 2 months. And I have other money problem to worry about. So I thought to myself, since I was late, it will be the matter of late and later. late will be I hire a cab, reached my company and give excuse of being late. But definitely not late for 30mins. Later will be.. Wait for the bus that is taking its 'own sweet time' to come. Reached the company, seeing people start work at their desk and I have to sneak into the company after feeling so embarrassed being late. But either both choice, I will also be late. So I chose the 'later' choice. I want to save cab fare. Sigh. Therefore, half an hour pay will be gone.. And we have about 2bucks for 1hour? So half an hour late, means.. 2bucks/2 = 1buck left. LOL. Good game.
When to attend internal meeting in the noon. We're helpers for the meeting, our job is to pass mic to people who intend to ask questions, give out presentation document and etc.
I want to shop. Very in need of shopping. Deprived shopping-hood. I want GG5 clothes. Nice office lady wear. I want nice pants. 3/4 white pants with nice top. I want a rich boyfriend, good looking, love me more than I love him, etc. LOL. The man of many women's dream. Be it black, white or other race. I am not racist. And I don't mind. No offence. =X

Wednesday:
Went out with xx. Bought a shirt from flesh imp. It was on the 50% category. But that's not the reason why I bought it okay. I am not so cheapo. Reason simple, because I only eyed that shirt. I am going to save 55bucks to get that 'Skinny Bitch' or maybe 'Don't hate me because I'm skinny' shirt at Queen Couture. whahaha! It was so interesting. Imagine I wear it out, people will be staring at me. Giving me face, giving me attitude. Just because I AM SKINNY and PRETTY in the fact. whahahahaaa! =X just kidding. First time eating yoshinoya, tried the sliced beef with rice. It was nice. Really.
Pretty me. Without my face. LOL.


My stm is getting worst. Now when I am feeling tired, I can't even think of what I did 1hour ago. Not only deprived of shopping, I am deprived of sleeping.

Thursday:
Today, feeling restless and tired. Of course, I was hoping for some work to keep me awake. But there seems to be nothing to do, I got no microsoft office access which means I can't continue on my web forms. I am feeling sleepy now..
Let me see.. If I manage to get my previous month salary, I will be able to carry out plans. Hopefully it's calculated by monthly and not daily/weekly? So if it's by daily/weekly, I think I will get about 381bucks. Gosh. That's LESS. Sigh. Life is miserable. Then 100bucks to parents, I will be left with 381-100=281bucks. I need to pay for my phone bill and save some for my next month bill, 281-120-50=111bucks. I got to treat T11 ice cream.. 111-(10x8) = 31bucks. Freakk. 31bucks for? Can't even shop. Can't even buy my skinny bitch shirt. F5. Maybe I will just take that stack of 50dollars notes from park and use. Can I? Will I be able to use successfully? Will I not end up in jail? Will I will I? =X
But.. I think too fast. Things normally don't go well for me. What if.. What if I didn't have my pay credit into my account? *faint. Then all the above things I had mentioned will be.. Going down the drain. Then I will be bring lunch box to work everyday, wake up early for work so that I won't be late, go home straight after work everyday and weekend will be staying at home and stone. No more good food, no more shopping spee, no more ice cream, no more outing. My life will be deprived from being free labour. I will be loitering around the neighbourhood during weekend, see if I managed to find anything worth of money, then I will be taking extra job, earning extra money, working myself like a cow. My life.. will be ruined. I will be Haggard and ugly, with dark eye rings, yellow and dehydrated skin. Ahhhhh.. I better pray hard that I will be able to get my pay by tomorrow. I am in need of my pay.
Today Lunch is free. Weee! As we helped out during the meeting, the organiser decided to treat us lunch at kallang. It's a malay food outlet. He ordered about 5 delicious dishes. There is fish, sumba chicken, curry vegetable, non spicy vegetable and fried eggs. Yum yum. Enjoyed eating there. Thank you for the lunch! =)

Friday:
@#@$#!#!%$
I checked my bank account during lunch. The company haven't even pay me my first month salary! Hell. We need money to survive. And that means.. All my plans will be ... Washed away into the drain. Money money. My partner said I am quite money minded. Hello. I am not as rich as him, he got parents to help him pay for this and that, I pay everything by myself. Maybe that's the reason he looks down on poor people. As if I care. He mentioned something interesting today. He put on make up and lip gloss when taking neoprints. LOL. Erm.. So gay? =X I was shocked when I heard that.
My partner = E
E: If I put on make up when taking neoprints, people will say I look like korean.
Me: Make up... ?
E: Ya. Cos most korean actor have fair skin and very red lips.
Me: ....

Do you really think you look like any korean actor or are u 'acting' to be like an actor? Dots. No comment. Maybe lots of guy love to beauty themselves too much.
When out with darling and wan jun today. Met them at city hall and.. Both of them are standing at the same area yet they didn't notice each other. So funny. We went to marina sq to eat. Wanted to try the Japanese ice cream. Is that a Jap or Korean restaurant? But wan jun cannot eat plus I haven't get pay. So we dropped the idea. We ate Long John silver instead. Cheap and filling. whahaha. Cheapo. I am getting more and more calculative. Because pay is little, and I spend money like pouring water. With a partner that love to eat good food and hate the desserted markets near our work place, I was growing poorer each day. I really got so sick of fast food, especially mac. The fries there are SALTY. Very. I am hating french fries each time I eat them. =X Once in a while is really okay. But definitely not twice in a week. Be it I am cheapo or what, it's my mindset. Plus eating too much fries will lead to cancer. S o unhealthy. I know wan jun primary school secret now. Whahahaha. =X
We went to 'Candy Empire' after our meal. Sweets.. Chocolates.. Biscuits.. Oh my.. Make me think of australia. I miss the place. Feel like going there for further studies. But money issues again. I bought some chocolate with different flavour inside, there is mango choco, orange choco, cookie and cream, strawberry and more. LOL. I love flavour choco lots. =) Darling never buy anything as she already bought a lot of choco previous time she visited 'Candy Empire'. She wanted to get candies from mini toon instead. Because the candy there was cheaper. Haha. So we went mini toon after that. I bought rainbow color mashmallow. Yum. I love rainbow color things. After that we switch to photo taking mode. We began taking pictures, the changing color light or decoration items above sweet recipe.
Show hands..
Using Nokia N70 camera:



Using Sony Erisson camera:





In conclusion, Erisson is better than N70 for taking pictures during night time. XD

The golden days.

The Event.

Mama, take this badge off of me
I can't use it anymore
It's getting dark, too dark to see
Feel I'm knocking on heaven's door
Knock knock knocking on heaven's door
Knock knock knocking on heaven's door

Mama put my guns in the ground
I can't shoot them anymore
That long black cloud is coming down
I feel I'm knocking on heaven's door
Knock knock knocking on heaven's door
Knock knock knocking on heaven's door

Baby stay right here with me
Cause I can't see you anymore
This aint's the way it's supposed to be
I feel I'm knocking on heaven's door
Knock knock knocking on heaven's door
Knock knock knocking on heaven's door

Son won't you remember me?
I can't be with you anymore
A lawman's life is never free
I feel I'm knocking on heaven's door
Knock knock knocking on heaven's door
knock knock..
Knocking on heaven's door
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When swimming today around 12pm. The sun is so bright that I can't control myself not to think of swimming in the cooling water. So I went for a swim in Kallang Bahur, somewhere near my house. I am still not use to swimming alone. It has been about 7 years or more since I last stepped into the swimming complex. The toilet are all newly renovated and the place look more present looking compare to the old complex. But for the children bath room, it is about the same, passer-by still can peep into and look at naked kids. *horror. I remembered when I am young, I was afraid of using the children bath room. So... insecure.
The pool is not crowded today. Yeah! Hoping for less people, so that I can swim. Most of the people are guys. And can you imagine, they went there to sun tan! F5. Only about ten people will inside the pool. And as time passed by, the pool has lesser and lesser people occupying. I tried swimming, as how I used to swim. However, my swimming skill had already turned rusty. I was actually having breathing difficulty. Gosh. I need to swim more. Feel that my skill was wasted. I could have swim well like most guys. But after so many years of not swimming, I feel like a beginner now. Got to swim more. I was stm until the extent that I forgot to bring my shampoo etc. Luckily the pool is quite near my house, after washing up, I took bus home and immediately I went to bath. Think my hair is more dry now. Thanks to the chlorine water.
Recalled yesterday event..
We celebrated minky and mine birthday together at minky house! Have steamboat over there. Woohooo.. Thanks to Fifi, Joc, Junie, Parky, Steve, Mel, Minky, Xiang ming, YeeSheng and Guanglin who organised the event yesterday. Huggg! Love u all lots. =)
I love the flowers, soccer shoes, the fake piano as well as the fake money. HUGS!
Pictures to make u envy me.. XD






Sunflowers! 3 of them. Ahhh~ I am so happy.



The fake 50dollars note they gave me! F5. And it's so BIG, almost half of my laptop size.


The soccer sneaker. Sweat. Soccer with the guys now? LOL. They didn't have enough of own goal.

There is actually 'GAY WORLD HOTEL' in singapore. And it's located near kallang MRT station. LOL. GAY = Happy. But if used in this way, sound disgusting. Imagine gays standing outside waiting for customer. LOL! =X Opps. Mean no insult at all.

Feverish

My bones ache like nobody business.
I feel slightly feverish.
My legs and hands wobble.
I didn't get to sleep for the last night. Bones aching too painful to even let my body rest for 1hour.
I am been walking like a zombie to work. Reason: Legs don't give way.
Don't feel like eating anything heavy. I am afraid of chicken and fries. With only Mac and Kfc nearest to the office, how could I not fall sick?
=/
This friday will be minky's birthday. Happy birthday bro!
Wishes will come true. Cheer up! =)

Tasteless.

I am damn fed up, irritated and pissed!
Damn. I am in a BAD mood today. VERY.
My hp bill just comes. DAMN.
Guess how much? Oh, it hits the jackpot. 110.91BUCKS.
Fuck. Date due: 21th april.
Fuck the stupid bill.
How am I going to pay that MUCH of amount?
And my pay is not even coming soon.
Damn the pay.
From now on, I am not going to call after 100mins of outgoing calls, 500 local sms and 500(m1 or starhub) sms. Feel free to call me, incoming call FREE.
Freak.
I am feeling freaking irritating now.

FUCK. I need MONEY.

Pictures Time!

Wow, I have been so busy to even upload all the pictures that I have took using my N70. LOL.
N70 is a nice phone, it comes handy when I am bored in office, when I see something extra-ordinary, when I am eating, etc. There is also a editing function for pictures, which you can add art clips into your pictures, edit the color contrast, add texts and frames. Cool huh? But recently, my N70 will auto restart on its own. Is it because of low reception or there is something wrong with the phone? F5. Maybe next week, I am going to drop by at the service center for some queries-asking.
I have spent my lunch time eating in Bugis. We took a cab down which costs like 5.20bucks, a cab back costs like 4.80bucks. Lastly, my lunch costs me 12.80bucks! Can you imagine spending 17dollars just for lunch out?! Gosh.. I am broke.

Now here are some pictures I took..


The 2nd cockroach in our room! Disgusting!


I love yogurt with fruits.



Birthday present from xx. After pestering him for so many times. LOL. Thank you. =)



Birthday present from F3. Pretty nice right? Just like the brand, 'PrettyFit'. Hugs! ;)



The Levis bag that we bought for 20bucks! Cute right? haha.



The tempting potato chips I enjoyed while reading my story book. Yummy.



The pasta(carbonara), mushroom soup and banana dessert pizza. Cool huh? Cheesy, creamy and sweety. =X

Lastly, I present my sweet picture..


Craps. This is what I did when I am bored. So silly. Park, did u see u inside with ur 2 friends? LOL.

Life is like a rainbow. U need both the sun and the rain to make its colors appear.

Mad-ness-dae

I am feeling tempting by good foods! Fish n Co, korean food, sushi buffet, french food, chicken ginseng soup etc. Oh goshhh. My partner and I have been discussing about foods since the whole morning. Good foods! But I haven't get my pay yet. Sadd. Park you going to treat me on friday right? =X
Just get a scolding from a lady for laughing too loud. I should be quiet.

It's All Coming Back To Me Now

There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window

There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever

I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made

But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
Baby Baby

If I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist
And it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now
But it's all coming back

There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper

There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever

But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then

But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back

There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again
But then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, Baby, Baby

When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now

If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now

And if we..

Mondae

Finally, It is the beginning of 2nd month, 1st week.
Wheeee!~
Have fun going out with F3 yesterday. They are going to buy me a pair of heels at pretty fit which I have been targeting since long time ago. Love ya! =) Next, We bought ourselves each a Levi's bag for only 20bucks! Its cheap. And we like cheap items. As what shufen say, if we don't buy anything at the sale, we're going to let ourselves down. See how cheapo is she? =X Hugs. Tried a two pair of jeans, w24 is too small for me. w25 is a bit too spacy for me. Sweat. Which means, I am stuck between w24 and w25! Gosh. How to put on weight? Is there any secret behind it? =XX
And F3 are so excited to see N70. LOL. They use it for their self satifaction! Take so many pictures, and change my wallpaper to their faces. LOL. My phone now is filled with pretty girls pictures.
What ice cream should I be treating F3? 1dollar or 50cents? LOL. U know u know. I haven't get my pay. I wonder when my pay be will credit into my account. Hopefully soon.
To update on my morning blog, shu fen visited me for lunch! Hugg. *touched. We have bandito together. Her favourite. My favourite too. But I still like two pieces chicken. whahahahah! Yum yum. She bought me the heels. Awww~ I love F3. Muack! LOL

Strawberry Yogurt.

Fool day

Oh well..
How am I going to start telling about today life?
Today is 1st of april.. To many, today is april fool. It means a day to play a joke on people.
And.. Someone PS me today for the drama concert. Sigh. Life is bad.
But it's okay. I got my sushi. I got my yogurts.
Lastly, I got my N70.

Yup.

I feel so small.
I feel empty.
I can't feel it.
Goodnight.

Title: What is Your Phrase? [for darker people]


"Awake, yet never truly alive, I seek valuation beyond reality"
Life is unfullfilling for you, and you aren't very fond of it. What you like is your own imaginative world, which can be your daydreams, stories you write or anything similar. You always prefer that before the actual life. To people you come off as quite lonesome, and you may wish you had more friends, but you are more of a hoper than someone who takes action. That is how you remain lonely. Or maybe you just don't find anyone who you can relate to. Inside you feel empty, like you are missing something important that you can't quite put a finger on what it is. Somehow you wish to be swept away from the normality and led into something extraordinary. This has yet to happen, and you keep on feeling dissapointed with the little that life has to offer. At least you continue to express yourself through art/writing/poems/daydreaming.

Quiz : What is your phrase
Taken at Quizilla.com

Sound so true

Here is my new version of logo.
But the coloring is not so nice. Perhaps I shall change again today. LOL.
My partner is back! Weeee! No more lunch alone! When I stare into his eyes, he remind me of alvin somehow. Alvinnnnn~ =X
I am bored. Find me things to do.

cloudy day

My partner is NOT coming today. He got the MC for 2 days. That means.. Lunch alone!
Sigh. So sad. Eating lunch alone again.
I should eat western food for today, cheer myself up.
But.. the fate is against me! The western food owners haven't prepare to start their stall, therefore, I have to eat other food.
I decided to try economic rice (vegetable rice in chinese). Paid 2.50bucks for it, quite cheap and I got myself my favourite sotong with chilli. whahaha! Thought this could cheer me up but I was WRONG. Back to office happily. Open my packet of take away rice, ready to eat, there is a free gift that comes with the rice. Wooohoo! The auntie treats me so well. A hair in the rice. Sweat.
What happened to my luck?! TT.
Here I am, eating alone in the office.
Sadden.
Eating a packet of rice in a room with four walls facing me. Am I a prisoner?
Just that I don't need to wear uniform.
Sob.

Linn

'The greatest distance in the world is not birth or death. It's the one who stands in front of you yet you don't know she/he loves you.'

I am so bored until I design my own logo. Cool huh? =X whahaha. It's simple.

Raining day

My partner is not here today. Down with fever.
I am all alone in this room. Cold cold. Lunch ALONE.
So sad.
Today will be another boring day.
I shall read my storybook and do some web designing.
What should I eat today? Kfc or mac? *drools
Maybe 12 nuggets again? LOL. Jk.
My birthday is getting near! Wooohoo!
Presents presents! *hint
The sky is growing dark again. Raining soon?
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Don't you ever wish
You were someone else
You were meant to be
The way you are exactly
Don't you ever say
You don't like the way you are
When you learn to love yourself
You'd better off by far
And I hope you always stay the same
Cause there's nothing 'bout you I would

I think that you could be
Whatever you wanted to be
If you could realize
All the dreams you have inside
Don't be afraid
If you've got something to say
Just open up your heart
And let it show you the way

Believe in yourself
Reach down inside
The love you find will set you free
Believe in yourself
You will come alive
Have faith in what you do

You'll make it through

Sundae

I feel weird.
I feel like a living dead today. Perhaps yesterday slept too late.
Down on flu today.
I found out something today.
It's amazing kids are quite imaginative.
Saw a kid taking ez-link card as a camera trying to take pictures for her parents. And to think her parents posed too. I smiled.
I feel the warmness in them, as a family.
It makes me think back, all the times when I am sad. Who had been there for me. Etc.
Certain things I just don't feel like elaborate anymore.
Promises are meant to be carried out.
But sometime things will meant to be?
It's okay.
The smiles that I enjoy now.
Yes. Thanks new friend.
=)
perhaps one day I will be falling for you.

Week 3

It's going to be the end of week 3!
Hooray!
Means.. Next week will be week 4. And I will have 4 months left to go back to school.
Whahahaha. Can't wait to go back to school. Now everyday I am thinking of what to do in the office plus I got weird partner and I am his weird partner too. whahahaha! Weird project group we have. Everything seems so weird there. I seldom talk to him, that's why we got comunication problem. Sweat. I am too quiet. Whenever talk to him I will get nervous, cause he's too good in talking. This sounds weird. Anyway, I will try to improve in the situation. Because I need to do well in this IAP. I want good gpa. TT.
Got back our results. I want quite anxious to know how I did in my CP. Luckily I passed. Phew. Thanks to melvin! Bro, hugg! =)
Anyway, Lets take a look at my new phone camera. 2MPs is not that sharp.



Who kidnap the princess? =X


How boring can I be?



Me and min


That kappo!



Cow evolution

Tuesday

Read this passage from the book(Tuesday with morrie) that I bought a few day ago. It's about a dying professor and an ex student of his.
"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love and to let it come in.
Let it come in.
We think we doesn't deserve love, we think if we let it in we'll become soft.
But a wise man named Levine said it right. He said, 'Love is only rational act.'"

=)

Look at me
You may think you see who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask, I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart
Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

I am now
In a world where I have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world, what's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection someone I don't know
Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why

Why must we all conceal, what we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me, I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

Is that we've been together much too long?
The answer many not be in black and white
We're always trying to prove who's right or wrong
And now we're giving up without a fight
I know when you're gone
I wish I'd held on

So baby surrender to me
They'll be no holding back now
So baby surrender to me tonight

I don't want our love to cause you so much pain
If this is how it's gonna be I'll walk away
Oh, neither one of us should ever say goodbye
Let's forget about the past and who's to blame
Cause when this is all gone
We'll wish we'd held on

How could this love be in danger
That used to be so good, so right
To think that fate could make us strangers
Just hold me in your arms tonight

lemon.

I am back at home.
Home seems to be the only place that I can find my warm.
Perhaps time will really make somebody forgot everything.
Is it true?
I'm feeling moody again.
Tell me anything u want. Don't ever keep quiet. Scold me if u like. Just talk to me.
=/
Sigh.
I like u. He likes me.
I found something familiar today.
Remember that time we were both watching windstruck at ur place? I got the tears song that is played in piano. So nice. How close we used to be.
sigh.
Take good care.
Hugs.

Tears.

Day 10

Oh man. Blog is having problem again.
I just blog it and the post is disappeared. Gosh. Kinda eerie.
Anyway, I can access to the internet in my company. Good news!
So I don't have to wait till I reach home and blog. *grins
I have also finished watching the 'Romance' vcd. The ending is expected. Just as like every fairy tale. When can I ever be the leading actress in a fairy tale? *blink
Now I begin my shopping experience.. My shopping incidents with xx yesterday.
Fun! LOL.
I make a fool of myself man.
Xx was late! Woohoo. Finally I am early. =X
Went to raffles place food junction to eat chicken rice. He stuffed me with chicken! 1 plate will usually cost around 3bucks but he buy two plate together so they gave us a plate of chicken which is 4bucks each person! Money..
Then after that went to look at the clothes in Espirit Whahhaaha! I found something nice! I want it too! There is this jeans that I liked. It's a fading light blue and its design is a quarter folding up jeans. Guess how much? 99.90bucks. Then I happened to see a white sweater! Gosh. It's fabulous to match with that jeans. =X It's also 99.90bucks. Whahaha! *hint hint My birthday is coming. Hahahaha
Then try on a red sweater. It's a two zips sweater. Quite unique. But I PREFER the white sweater more. Hahaha.
We went to our next stop, perlini! Didn't fully notice the necklace at raffles place there. Only notice that it was 110bucks. Gosh. I want it so badly that I keep on telling xx that my birthday is coming. As I wanted to take a look on how the necklace is, we decided to went to suntec. On the way there, I bought the mirror metal box sweets. Whahahha! Limited design leh. =X wanted to get the high maintenance design instead but I thought about it, lush is better huh. LOL. Envy me ma xx? LOL.
Back in perlini, looking at my desire necklace. Now I can tell that it's a two piece crown necklace. Very unique indeed. But too expensive leh. I even asked the sale assistant is there any purchase of only 1 piece of the necklace. =X I tried the necklace on, but it doesn't match well with my collar shirt. Guess shouldn't wear collar shirt with that. Should have wear a sleeveless shirt. Then xx said, he wanted to touch the necklace too because it was quite expensive. Dots. Got the impulsive to run out of the shop when I am wearing the necklace, then let xx pays for me. Whahahahhaa! Poor friend. =X After we got out of the shop, I suddenly remember that I got this 'How well do we score' card from perlini in my bag, so I tell xx to pass it to the girl as I feel that I am quite troublesome. Little do I know that the dateline for submitting the card was already over. Gosh. And I pass it to the sale assistant. She give me a confused expression and told me that the card was to submit before 31th of march 2005. 2005.. Which was supposed to be last year! F5. I was so embarrassed that I keep on laughing at how silly can I be. LOL. Xx also feel that I am a noob. LOL. Whahahaha! But it was fun doing stupid things. That's why I am always doing silly stuff. =X Went to carrefour to buy corn flake. In the end bought coco krunch. Yummy. Spend quite long time in carrefour. The towels there have nice color! Oh my.. I like the brown color strips with heart design at the corner. The orange, yellow and white strips also not bad. Gosh. Many many. Got influenced by shufen to look at towel. LOL. Bought sushi, coco krunch, milk, chestnut drink and dried apricot. Money can be spend easily just by buying those items. It costs 10.95bucks. I am broke again! So sad. When can I get my hp? My necklace? My clothes? My bag?
On the way to mrt station, xx said he wanted to buy that mirror box sweets. But the push cart was closed, so he had no choice but to wait till next time. =X
Fighting with xx in the mrt station. Actually we have been fighting since we met at raffles place. He was taking revenge. ROAR. We missed two trains. Gosh. Reached home about 11.50pm. And I have to bath and wait for my hair to dry. In the end, I sleep while my hair is still wet. Too tired. Used too much energy.

+) :( :'(

Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man's all. For God will bring every work into judgement, including every secret thing, whether good or bad.

Day7

Today is a boring day!
Nothing to do. Sleep in the afternoon.
Sigh.
Life is not good.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here is a email I received. Guess it was quite cool. My birthdate is from maple tree. =)
So what is urs?

Dec 23 to Jan 01 - Apple Tree
Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree
Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree
Jan 25 to Feb 03 - Cypress Tree
Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree
Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree
Feb 19 to Feb 28 - Pine Tree
Mar 01 to Mar 10 - Weeping Willow Tree
Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree
Mar 21 (only) -Oak Tree
Mar 22 to Mar 31 - Hazelnut Tree
Apr 01 to Apr 10 - Rowan Tree
Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree
Apr 21 to Apr 30 - Walnut Tree
May 01 to May 14 - Poplar Tree
May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree
May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree
Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree
Jun 24 (only) - Birch Tree
Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree
Jul 05 to Jul 14 - Fir Tree
Jul 15 to Jul 25 -Elm Tree
Jul 26 to Aug 04 - Cypress Tree
Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree
Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree
Aug 24 to Sep 02 - Pine Tree
Sep 03 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree
Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree
Sep 23 (only) - Olive Tree
Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree
Oct 04 to Oct 13 - Rowan Tree
Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree
Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree
Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree
Nov 22 to Dec 01 - Ash Tree
Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree
Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree
Dec 22 (only) - Beech Tree
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apple Tree (the Love) -- quiet and shy at times, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction, pleasant attitude, flirtatious smile, adventurous, sensitive, loyal in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, many talents, loves children, needs affectionate partner.
Ash Tree (the Ambition) -- extremely attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate, can be very egotistic, reliable, restless lover, sometimes money rules over the heart, demands attention, needs love and much emotional support.
Beech Tree (the Creative) -- has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.).
Birch Tree (the inspiration) -- vivacious, attractive, elegant, friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.
Cedar Tree (the Confidence) -- of rare strength, knows how to adapt, Likes unexpected presents, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, a great speaker, determined, often impatient, likes to impress others, has many talents, >industrious, healthy optimism, waits for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.
Chestnut Tree (the Honesty) -- of unusual stature, impressive, well-developed sense of justice, fun to be around, a planner, born diplomat, can be irritated easily, sensitive of others feelings, hard worker, sometimes acts superior, feels not understood at times, fiercely family oriented, very loyal in love, physically fit.
Cypress Tree (the Faithfulness) -- strong, muscular, adaptable, takes What life has to give but doesn't necessarily like it, strives to be content, optimistic, wants to be financially independent, wants love and affection, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered at times, can be unruly and careless, loves to gain knowledge, needs to be needed.
Elm Tree (the Noble-mindedness) -- pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.
Fig Tree (the Sensibility) -- very strong minded, a bit self-willed, honest, loyal, independent, hates contradiction or arguments, hard when wants to be, loves life and friends, enjoys children and animals, few sexual relationships, great sense of humor, has artistic talent and great intelligence.
Fir tree (the Mysterious) -- extraordinary taste, handles stress well, loves anything beautiful, stubborn, tends to care for those close to them, hard to trust others, yet a social butterfly, likes idleness and laziness After long demanding hours at work, rather modest, talented, unselfish, many friends, very reliable.
Hazelnut Tree (the Extraordinary) -- charming, sense of humor, very demanding but can also be very understanding, knows how to make a lasting impression, active fighter for social causes and politics, popular, quite moody, sexually oriented, honest, a perfectionist, has a precise sense of judgment and expects complete fairness.
Hornbeam Tree (the Good Taste) -- of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.
Lime Tree (the Doubt) - intelligent, hard working, accepts what life dishes out, but not before trying to change bad circumstances into good ones, hates fighting and stress, enjoys getaway vacations, may appear tough, but is actually soft and relenting, always willing to make sacrifices for family and friends, has many talents but not always enough time to use them, can become a complainer, great leadership qualities, is jealous at times but extremely loyal.
Maple Tree (Independence of Mind) -- no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.
Oak Tree (the Brave) -- robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground, person of action.
Olive Tree (the Wisdom) -- loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.
Pine Tree (the Peacemaker) -- loves agreeable company, craves peace and harmony, loves to help others, active imagination, likes to write poetry, not fashion conscious, great compassion, friendly to all, falls strongly in love but will leave if betrayed or lied to, emotionally soft, low self esteem, needs affection and reassurance.
Poplar Tree (the Uncertainty) -- looks very decorative, talented, not very self-confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, great artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.
Rowan Tree (the Sensitivity) -- full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.
Walnut Tree (the Passion) -- unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.
Weeping Willow (the Melancholy) - likes to be stress free, loves family life, full of hopes and dreams, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful, musically inclined, loves to travel to exotic places, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with when pressured, sometimes demanding, good intuition, suffers in love until they find that one loyal, steadfast partner; loves to make others laugh.

Day6

A boy and a girl, the best of friends.
From elementary to high school from beginning to end.
Through all those years their friendship grew.
They both felt the same, but neither knew.
Each waking moment since the day they met.
They both loved each other sunrise to sunset.
He was all she had in her terrible life.
He was the one who kept her from her knife.
She was his angel, she made him smile.
Though life threw him curves, she made it allworth while.
Then one day things went terribly wrong.
The next few weeks were like a very sad song.
He made her jealous on purpose he tried.
When the girl asked, "Do you love her?" on purposehe lied.
He played with jealousy like it was a game.
Little did he know Things would never be the same.
His plan was working but he had no clue.
How wrong things would go, the damage he would do.
One night she broke down, feeling very alone.
Just her and the blade, no one else home.
She dialed his number, he answered, "Hello"She told him she loved him and hung up the phone.
He raced to her house just a minute too late.
Found her lying in blood, her heart had no rate.
Beside her was a note, in it her confession.
Her love for this boy, her only obsession.
As he read the note, he knelt down and cried.
Grabbed her knife, that night they both died.
She was found in his arms, both of them dead.
Under her note his handwriting said:"I loved her so, she never knew.
All this time I loved her too."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Story of today.
Today I am late for work. First time ever since working. Gosh. All the clothes fault. =X
Time passes quite fast because my partner brought his korean 'Romance' vcd to work. And I watched it. Quite interesting. It was about a student falls in love with the teacher. And he said "Love doesn't consist of races. Age is just a digit."
Indeed age is not a matter to love. That's why more and more young adults dating guys who are in his 30s. That's the trend now. Perhaps. haha I found out something interesting about my partner. He loves romance movie alot. He will buy those korean, japanese and hong kong vcd to watch. Interesting huh? LOL.
Something more interesting happened..
I was watching this korean show until half way, I feel something on my leg. 1 glance, and I scream! Cockroach! A big disgusting cockroach was on my leg. Gosh. That's damn scary. A cockroach appear out of nowhere, scare the daylight out of me. Luckily my partner helped me to get rid of the cockroach. Thanks to him and my colleagues. =) Cheers.
How I wish I could get my pay earlier. I saw the date for getting my pay and it was like.. End of the new month somewhere around the friday of 3rd week? Man.. That's long.. But I am going to wait patiently. =) Money!

Home sweet home!

Weeeee!
It's finally weekend!
Can't wait till next weekend again.
Work is getting stress.
Bored with nothing to do.
So I bring newspaper to work everyday. hahaha!
My complexion is getting worst.
Pimples popping out! GOSH. *Screams.
Skin sensitive again. Sob.
So many construction work around my office. Weather so humid some more. Plus I always eat tibits in the office. =X I need to take good care of my skin.
UGLY!
I need to drink more water.

Ugly me. =(

Day 4

I feel stress.
I feel stress when my partner wanted an out.
So stress. Can you imagine that your partner say "I rather they don't pay me for the project than letting me wasting my time there." or "They can either pay me if i complete the project and they are satisfied about it." or "if they can let me have maybe 3days of working in a week."
Gosh. Can you ever do that to your partner?
I feel so stress when he mentions that. Plus he's outspoken, hardworking, helpful, eager to work and etc. Whereas I am lazy, stoner, quiet and etc. I feel pressurize when I am working with him. He's the one doing talking most of the time and I just keep quiet.
At time, there is not much thing for us to do. With two people in the office, when one person can handle the workload. The people there seems to like my partner a lot. Cos he's good in speaking english with them? He handle things well? That is the way church people are? Maybe they interact with lot of people that's why they are so social?
Sigh.
I am not clever nor social.
Sad.

Down.

Day2

Basically today is just another slacking day.
There is not much thing for us to do except do a documentation for every staff computer(system properties). Then we have to make a draft on how the current website is and what are the information that is missing etc. There is finally network connection, but the problem is.. We are only given intranet. Gosh. How can we survive for 5months? Oh man.
I am sorry my friend, I feel useless in being ur friend. I can't do anything to make you happy. I thought some day you will realise that we can actually be good buddy? I never want to make you upset nor want you to hate me. I am feeling stress. There is alway a border(line) for certain things. I know you want to make/see me happy. But somehow, things don't work out right for you. Patttttt~ How can a person lost the interest of liking someone by not seeing them? If this works, then why am I still like alvin? Love.. Grows not by looking at nor meeting them. It's a strange and beyond control thing. How can you ever control how much you are going to like/love that person? Sigh.
I.. am your good friend!
Don't be upset with me, can you?
=(
I am sick.
Very.

Goodnight everyone. Hug

Expect the unexpected

I finally get to see my attachment place. But.. I still not sure how to get there. If by walking, it will take 30mins! Oh my gosh. Should have check out those buses to there. =( At least I know how to get there by walking. dots.
When to G2000 with xx and joc. Whahahaha! I got the 20% coupon from xx. WEeeeeee! Joc and I each bought a collar shirt for 47bucks after discount. Gosh. Expensive. Knew my mum will surely nags at me. F> cheap and good material skirt. Rush off for piano after that. I was late for 30mins!
Met my family after class. Was quite excited about it cause I thought I can get a nice handphone today. Tired using my dummy phone. I want smart phone! ROAR. I don't want to be dummy owner. TT As usual, bad things alway happened. The shop doesn't allow using the 300bucks discount coupon that my bro had. Oh gosh. Can't they just be a bit nice? I wanted a new phone so badly that I even heartache when I spend money. Sigh. When will be my turn to get a new phone? Unfair life I have.

=/

A story

This is the story xx told me yesterday. I think it was pretty interesting, so I am going to post it.

The suicide story:
A girl was going to commit suicide as she thought life is meaningless for her.
So she jumped down from the 10th storey.
When she was falling..
At the 9th storey, she saw a couple quarrelling.
At the 8th storey, she saw man waiting for his family to come back to his side.
At the 7th storey, she saw a father ill-treating his children.
At the 6th storey, she saw a drunkard hitting his wife.
And so on..
Each storey she passed by, depicts a different story.
At the 2nd storey, she regretted jumping, she regretted committing suicide.
But it was too late, she landed dead on the 1st floor.
Upon hearing the noise, the neighbor's came out of their house and took a look.
The neighbors were glad that they are not the one committing suicide.

What is the moral of the story?
Close your eyes when jumping? So that you will not see too much? Of course not, silly!
Each person has their own story of life. Killing doesn't help at all.
People will alway regret at the last minute but often it was too late.
The best way to resolve a problem is to communicate with people.
___________________________________________________________________

Today met alvin on the bus. We have a short talk. Was quite surprised to see him on the bus. Kind of happy. =) He smiles when he's talking. Haha. I like the way he smiles. I was late for the paper. When in when the paper started. Could have been able to do it if I study. If only..
Perhaps sunday going to church with parky.
Have a nice talk with him yesterday.
Guilty.
Sinner.
Need to confess my sin.
=(
Sorry those who I hurt.
I am really sorry.

If nothing is forever, then what is forever for?

I feel bad. Really bad.
Treating u like this is what i will never do.
But seeing u feeling so useless yet i can't do anything to cheer u up.
Am i more useless than u?
If not why am i feeling it that way.
I want to hug u and cry.
But all i can do is to sit at one corner and cry alone.
I thought u will be happy with such decision, but i am wrong again.
I hurt u more than anyone else could.
I feel inhuman.
I feel guilty.
How can i ever face u again?
Sorry alvin. I am really sorry.
I once said before, if u want me to be there for u, i will.
But u didn't..
U told me not to wait for u.
Why?
U think it's meaningless to make me stay?
While i will be happier with other guys?
Is this being kind or being cruel?
Cos I don't know.
Crying doesn't help.
25th.. how can i ever forget this date?
Sigh.
The ring, the roses, the key chain and the toy.
How could i ever hurt someone like u so deeply?
I am foolish.
I am a fool!

Kill me!

If tomorrow never comes

What will you ever do if there is no tomorrow?
I have been thinking about it.
I guess that I am tired.
Vin called me in the morning.
We talked for a long time. Never feel that close to him for such a long time.
He asked me about xx. Quite surprise that he read my blog, thought he never will.
Perhaps certain things I think too much that led to who I am today.
I am sorry. I never mean to let u know about it so late. It was my fault. I blame no one.

Forgive me, will you?
Hugs.
Best wishes.
=)

Stars are cold comfort if all u ever want is the warmth of the sun.

I don't know my feelings.
I guess I don't even know myself.
For that moment, I don't know what to do.
But I know that I like you.
I just can't feel for him.
It's my fault.
I shouldn't like anyone.
Yes.
I am silly.
How can I be so dumb?
Maybe I should go for some brain wash.
Ha!
It will be good.
Weeee!
I am sick.
I feel like crying yet there is no tear.
Am I numb?
Perhaps.
Memories.
Last longer than reality.

daonebeythsuedonfwrdioln.

The Excursion

Welcome to the Ngee Ann poly excursion.
It's an excursion without consent form.
=X
When to newton hawker center with xx. It was not as crowded as I expect it to be. The food there is soso standard. Mostly are BBQ foods, quite similiar to chomp chomp. Except that Newton got more tables and chairs. We order fried carrot cake, hokkien mee, lala and stingray. Xx forgot the name for carrot cake and all he said was "Uncle, black one." whahahaha. So funny. When we're ready to go to somewhere cooler, we thought that was the end of the hotness, sweatness. But.. Something silly happened. I bought a bottle of mineral water and there is this plastic covering the cap. So I tear off the plastic and looking for place to throw it. Just then I notice a table with cups and can-drink that has no people sitting. I threw the rubbish into the cup and hear an uncle saying "Oi.. Oi..". I turned back and looked. The uncle was shouting at me. I panicked and asked xx to run. So we ran to the overhead bridge. LOL. How stupid can I be. That was the funniest moment.
Then we went to look for some cars. haha. Antique and vintage cars. Oh myy.. I want I want! We walked from newton hawker to little india. Quite fun. We visited KK hospital, little india and lastly, my play ground. Fun and enjoyable day.

25 words or less to describle me, to make me feel that I am beautiful.


Pathetic obsession over linn. LOL!





The foods that we ordered. The "black one". See, really so black.



The pic we took after copying someone victory sign. hahaha! Silly.

Poets often use many words to say a simple thing
But it takes thought and time and rhyme to make a poet sings

With music and words,
I will be playing
For you I have written a song

To be sure that you'll know what
I'm saying
I'll translate as I go along

Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On jupiter and mars

In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me

Fill my heart with song
And let me sing forever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore

In other words Pplease me true
In other words
I love you

The breeze of the night is cooling.
The feeling of sitting and slack is nice.
The holding make me feel confused.
I... Don't know what to do.
I can't make up my mind.
I am not ready for relationship.
I just want to rest. Stay happy and have fun.
Why can't it be simple?
I don't like complicated thing.
I never understand it.
Sigh.
I don't understand the meaning of like and love.
What exactly is it?
How I wish I am still a child.
Playground is the only way to make a child happy.
Ice cream doesn't make me happy anymore.
Am I growing up?
Sigh.
How can I love when I am confused.

Love, a complicated word.

V day

I went to school late! I am late by 1hour. It's a new record for me.
Then went to play CS with park they all. Have fun there. =) Thanks for the sun flower guys!
Went out with alvin. He bought me 3 pink roses. What does that mean? Happy to see flowers! =)
We have curry at bugis. Yum yum. Nice.
He said I shouldn't buy him expensive things anymore. But the wallet is really not expensive at all. Sigh. Buy him this, buy him that he doesn't appreciate. Whatever. bitcoenartebh.
I am tired.
I really feel sick of this kind of comment.
Good night.
Happy valentine's day.
Tomorrow will be better.
=)

The PM test today is difficult.
Linn is killed.
Comparision kills.
Died.
Depression.
Moody.
Sigh.

Roses

Have been folding roses since yesterday. It's tough.
Roses that are..
Red: means love, respect.
Light pink: Admiration, sympathy.
Deep pink: Gratitude, appreciation.
Single rose: Simplicity.
3 Red roses: I love you.
Etc..
Roses are often purchase for occassion e.g. valentine day.
Restuarants are often fully booked and rosed are selling at the price of $10 for 1 stalk.
What is so important about valentine's day that people are making a big deal out of it?
Valentine day is a day that lovers celebrate their love. Valentine's day can also be the day to confess the love for someone.
People are often excited about the day as they will anxious to find out who will present them with gifts and what is the gift. But it's not the gift alone that counts. It's the thought that went behind it, the time and effort made.
So what have u plan for your love one?
__________________________________________________________________
Alot of things can't be say.
Is it a long term or a short term?
Silly. Not me.
I think too much.
Tomorrow is a killer day! ROAR.
3 papers in a day. DIE. How am I going to cope with studies? =/

Regret are alway related with what ifs.

La-la-la

Zoo

The zoo trip we went today was fun! I'm quite excited about it. But the rain spoiled everything. Raining photo taking.
Animals hiding in their shether. Discover a lot of things about animals. I like raccoon and graffie. whahahahaha!
My brother got back his result. Better than mine. What a clever brother I have? Confident and smart? =.= i thought he was bullshit-ing about how well he can score but now, I got to admit that he's smart IF he works hard. Told alvin about it. Think he was happy too, didn't disappointed him after all his teaching. =) Thank you.
Was feeling quite moody. Somehow I don't feel like talking. Because of the weather? Must be. Certain thing I don't know how I should react.
Laugh? Smile?
Cry? Tears?
Stone? Blur?
Too many thing to think about. =/

Unwell.

Copycat house! messy messy. LOL! I become a cat too. meow~

I wish I wasn't

I'm home alone again.
And you're out, hanging with your friends.
So you say, but I know it's not quite that way.
It's getting pretty late and you haven't checked on me all day.
When i called, you didn't answer.
Now I'm feeling like you're ignoring me.

I wish that you were home.
Holding me, tight in your arms.
And I wish, I could go back
To the day before we met and skip my regret.

I wish I wasn't in love you.
So you couldn't hurt me.
It just ain't fair the way you treat me.
No, you don't deserve me.
Wasted my time thinking about you and you ain't never gone change.
I wish I wasn't in love with you.
So I wouldn't feel this way.
_________________________________________________
Keep on listening to this song.
It's a nice song.
Bright cheery day.
But I am down with flu.
BOo!
Theory is getting more and more tough.
I am confused with the the rules and position of notes.
I will spare a thought for you from now on.
No matter how disappointed it will be.
Yaa.
Life should be enjoyable.
Life can be easy yet seem difficult.
Life can be valuable but difficult to cherish.
Life can be bright!
lalala~

I. Miss. You.
=)

+Minds Game+

Minds game huh?
I am not a good guesser.
I am too lazy to guess.
Promises were made and forgotten.
Time passed fast, soon everyone will forget what really happened.
Let time proves everything..
My mum woke me up early in the morning.
Shouting and nagging at me.
I repelled.
I told her I am going to quit.
I hurt her.
And now she's not talking to me.
I just feel like slacking at times.
Just feel someone will be here to advise me, telling me why I shouldn't do this and that.
I looked around.
I am the only in my room.
Bed is my only comfort.
I just feel like sleep and sleep.
Run away.
I want to explore the world.
I want to see how people survive in different surrounding.
I want to learn how to speak up.
I want to learn how to be strong.
I just want..

I am just too weak.

+Sweetie+

Return home late as usual.
Talked to alvin on the phone. Was quite happy at first. Until he mentions that he's going for his class chalet. Then I was waiting for him to invite me? But he didn't. So.. I think about it again. Does he really need me? Why am I always feeling jealous? Why am I always feeling hurt? Maybe we both need to think. Really think hard. I can't even communicate well with him, how is he going to communicate with me. But when he really need me to be there, I will be there for him. =)
I am sorry to let you down, I love you anyway.
Life is full of ups and downs.
But it can be memorable at times.
That's why we need to learn to cherish things.
As usual, I am late again.
Mao is offline! ROAR.
Where you want to eat tomorrow?!
NUUUUuuuuuu!~

I am need hugging.
Can someone hug me please?

I..
Feel stress too.
Not only you feeling it this way.
Love is not suppose to be stressful nor pressurize.
I don't feel like doing anything.
Just too tired to carry on.
I can't even think for myself, let alone think for you.
I am too childish, stupid and clumsy.
We're two worlds apart.
Deeply..
Hurtful..
Meaningless..
I am sorry..

Lets stop..

+New Year+

Hello!
Happy New Year!
I am not satisfied with my hong bao. =X
So little. Getting lesser and lesser each day.
Went out with alvin today. Didn't go to river hong bao in the end. We went to visit larry's house. And his mum gave us $10 each! And gave his gf $40! So good. LOL. I think my relatives are all stingy people? =X Anyway, it's just a meaning of new year.
I drank alcohol. Wooo! I am not drunk! Never will be. =X haha.
I feel I let copycat down?
Feel so bad of disturbing him when he's gambling.
Alway online late. And he offline. Sorry cat.
I called out of no where. Alway like this. =X
Am I too strict to people?
Am I irritating when I am asking question?
=/
I am dense?
That is why I wanted to know more?
Guess so.

Smile more! =)

+Sweet+

Some of the best things in life are for free.
Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

The you in the past will do this. But what about the present?
Thoughts.

Anything but ordinary.

+Reunion+

Eaten my reunion dinner with my family members. =)
Feel so good!
Well.. Affairs of the heart....
Let nature take its course. =)
Why make myself upset when I can enjoy?
Give some thought to it.
I can be more happy!
Cheers to everyone.
Smiles.
Memories is alway memorable.
Life shouldn't get hold back by memories.
Else there will be no improvenment at all.
So great year to everyone!
Hugg.

Merry new year! =)

Feel good after having dinner together. Weee! Love my classmates. =)
Cheers~
Bought a skirt at collage today. In the end, I made mel they all wait for so long.
Sorry bro. =/ hugg.
Seriously, I don't know what to do. My heart belong no where. I just want to be loved. I feel so tired of crying in one corner. I feel so lonely at time. I feel so insecure. I don't like the way u answered my questions. I don't like the silence in the phone. Attachment is coming. There won't be any more time left for me. Your reaction is making me mad at times. I just want to run away. Just like how you did to me. I just need somebody to be there for me.
Somebody.
Tell me that you need me and I will be there.
Maybe I am a bad girlfriend afterall.
I just don't want to get involve in any relationship.
Don't hurt me.
I will cry.
I don't understand at all.

Emotionally unstable.

+Hearts+

Complicated heart.
Feeling will change.
It may be just a jolly moment.
It's a mistake.
Don't make me fall for you.
I am indecisive.
I want to hurt no one.
Even though I need someone to be there.
I am continue to be strong.
Continue to be independent.
Continue to walk on.
Continue to pretend.
Just let me be.

I am crazy.

Ton

Ton at my friend house yesterday to do a BIG project. Sleep for 1 or maybe 2 hours? Do the documentation at around 5 or 6am. LOL. so fun doing project together. We joked and slacked. In the end we rushed. Staying over is fun. But more girls next time please? =X I feel insecure. LOL.
But they showered me with care. hahahaha Love u guys. Even though I didn't contribute much. =/ Hugg. Copycat was so hyber yesterday. Everyone was dead. And he still down there talking talking, jumping around. LOL. Act cute. whahahaha! Behaving like a kitten. haha.
Skipped PM lesson today. Was vey tired. Sorry copycat, can't go home with ya. Anyway u got kian min. LOL! Or u wanted to go home with someone else? erhem. =X
Slept for quite long. End up never go out instead. =/ When i woke up, the first thing i did was to look at my handphone. I thought there will be miss call or sms. But there aren't his. =/ I didn't know what to do. Ps me the second time. Sigh. But anyway there will alway be a next time to go out. Tomorrow will be better.

Hopefully.

+hello+

Hello to my new friend who is viewing my blog now.
=.=
Accompany this lonely Copycat home.
Feel as if i am escorting a child home. =XX
What am I thinking huh?
Took 151 from np all the way to hougang interchange. Dots.
I must be insane. Oh noo.. Must be too tired to make sense.
LOL.
Anyway he showed me around hougang. Shop houses. And I discovered something. There is an auto door at the hougang shopping mall! haha. At such place, to think that there is auto door.
I ate tako! Octopus balls. I dropped one. And that silly person took it with his hand. PIG. =X So silly.
Took nel mrt home. And a stalker stalk me into the mrt! =X
So silly yet cute. bth. Never see such a guy before. hahahaha! indeed is COPYcat.
Still feeling quite exhausted. Feeling very heaty.
Feeling sick.

Praise the lord.

Ponders

Every time I think of you
I feel shot right through with a bolth of blue
It's no problem of mine but it's a problem I find
Living a life that I can't leave behind
There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
While every day my confusion grows
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say
I feel fine and I feel good
I'm feeling like I never should
Whenever I get this way, I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
I'm not sure what this could meant
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

How long are u going to run?

+Rainy day+

The rain continues for days.
Why is it so? Winter?
It's a good weather to sleep and slack.
I am beginning to go back to my bad habit. Sleeping in class! F5.
i just feel so bored. =/
Feel so tired after school tis few day.
As if I had not been resting for days.
Or is this growing old symptom?
=X
Is this what happened to park?
LOL.
I miss feiry.
I want outing. =)
Ya.
Did something extremely stupid today.
I broke 3 violin's fine tuner by sitting on it.
This show how heavy and stupid I am.
=X
Thanks to me, this is the BIG new in club house today.



It's amazing, isn't it? 4 fine tuners, now left 1.

I get down on my knee and pray.

Loneliness

I am still not use to the feeling of staying at home.
Used to go out with you.
Even through, we didn't talk that much when we meet, I still love the feeling of be out there with you.
But now, I got to stay at home. Nowhere to go.
Sigh.
Where are you? TT
Why didn't you msg me at all?
Sad.
For the whole day, I have been mapling and going to piano class.
There is nothing much for me to do.
You have been treating me cold.
Much colder than I expected.
So different from the past Alvin.
Very different.
What's going on?
Am I still dreaming?
Somebody tell me, please.
TT
Love, me.

I pray.

Thoughts

I want dress!
Ohh myyy.. I want the pink dress. I look nice! *wink
LOL! It's cheap too. Only about 45bucks! Buy for me, someone?
Have been feeling low since yesterday. It means alot?
It's your attitude. Give me an answer. Please. It's hurtful.
Tell me the truth. Will you?
If you want to hurt me, just hurt me once and for all. Or cherish me.
Think about it. =)
Thank you. =)

Time limits : 20th Floor.

I, tear.

Day after day
Time passed away
And I just can't get you off my mind
Nobody knows, I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can't find

The courage to show to letting you know
I've never felt so much love before
And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out

But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know if I let you go?

Night after night I hear myself say
Why can't this feeling just fade away?
There's no one like you
You speak to my heart
Its such a shame we're worlds apart

I'm too shy to ask, I'm too proud to lose
But sooner or later I've got to choose
And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out

But if I let u go, I will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know if I let you go?

If I let you go.

+Bad day+

Tico alert.
PUI!
An uncle riding bicycle approached me twice. Arghs. *stare Ask me whether I want extra service. I was...... feel like giving him a punch. Get a life! I got no phone with me. If he approaches me another time, I will make sure I call the police. Give you a hard time. =/
Guys.. This is what the world look like?
Got to deliver the cheque to funan. And went I reached funan, it was dizzling, not so bad.
When I came out of funan, I was raining heavily. Oh man. I waited and waited for the rain to go away. But the rain just getting bigger and bigger. Then finally when it's getting smaller a bit, I ran to the bus stop. Ran and ran. Reached the bus stop drenched. =/ Poor me. But soon, my bus arrived! yeah. Everyone in the bus was like looking at me. I just bath. LOL. A kind lady even offer me a packet of tissue. So nice of her. =))) Luckily, there is a warm side of the world. People in the bus will kind. Some offered seats to elderly people. This is a good sign. I feel so warm. =D
Today is 31th of dec 2005. Tomorrow will be a new year, 2006. So what is my resolution? Haven't think of one. I want to be happy and strong. I hope you will be happy too. =)

Cannot touch, cannot hold
Cannot be together
Cannot love, cannot kiss
Cannot have each other
Must be strong
And we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away from all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

Cannot dream
Cannot share sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel
Must pretend it's over
Must be brave
And we must go on
Must not say what we've known all along

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away from all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you

Must be brave
And we must be strong
Cannot say what we've know all along

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away from all of the memoris
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you when you are gone

How can I? :'(

I'd rather

I thought sometime alone
was what we really needed
You said this time would hurt more than it helps
but I couldn't see that
I thought it was the end
of a beautiful story
and so I left the one I loved at home to be alone
and I tried to find
out if this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've a change of heart

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart

An then I met someone
and thought she could replace you
we got a long just fine
we wasted time because she was not you
we had a lot of fun
though we knew we were faking
love was not impressed with our connection they were all lies, all lies
so I'm here cause I found one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
who holds my heart

I can't blame you if you turn away from me, like I've done you,
I can only prove the things I say with time,
please be mine.

I'd rather have bad times with you
than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm
than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together
than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart

I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart.

Who holds my heart.
Will you?

Christmas

It's over! Christmas is over.
Same for us?
My mind is in a haze.
I can't focus well.
I am simply lazy to think anymore.
U're right.
It takes more.
Frankly speaking, I have to admit that I never think of the future. But i know that relationship is not all days honeymoon. It takes alot of commitment. And I ignored your signal. I just care too much for myself. I am.. Selfish. I shouldn't hold you back when you can find someone even better than me and more committing than me. But.. I was really hoping that I can change for the better, change everything. Without thinking how to? How to.. Change? I am at the loss of words now. Is my feeling fighting against my own thinking now? I guess I am a feeler more than a thinker. Yaa.
I am not that hurt as last time. I just don't feel like crying anymore. It's tired to cry. Guess I am learning it well? I just feel so tired. Feel so dead. I am back to the don't know what to do stage. And i need someone there to guide me. =S
Sigh. Don't throw away the box. =X I will miss it.
What should I do now?
I got no emotion and innovation to draw.

Why am I moving forward when I know it's going to be a dead end?

Sighhhh.
Why have things turn out to be like this? :'(
Why when things get worst then we start to talk it out? Why must human being always wait till the last minute then they start to realize that actually they cherish each other a lot?
Why?
What is the root problem? What is/are the root cause(s)?
I don't know.
We get into relationship without knowing where it will lead us to. No one really know how a relationship will end up. And we are the one to decide it. To end it or continue. A strong relationship takes a lot of hard work. Commitment, compromise, care, share and time. It takes time to love someone as well as to be loved. Some time we love someone without getting anything in return. Love means living to make the other happy, not using each other for gain or satifaction, but giving without counting the cost, sometimes at great sacrifice.
In conclusion, it actually takes a lot to love someone, a lot of courage.
So why not make it better?
Scream.
No more i don't know this words.
Hearts may change.
Will you?
I promise for the better.

I heart feiry.

Bells..

Jiggle bells.. Jiggle bells.. Jiggle all the way~
Christmas is coming! WEee! Will i get MORE christmas present this year? Better not to think so much, or else I will make myself disappointed again.
=)
I haven't find anything to give him. howwwww? Days are getting nearer! *panick
Bag? Wallet? Sneakers? What to buy?
*ponders
Just gotten my attachment result. And I got the job. But.. I don't know how to go. LOL. This is another worry. Hopefully everything go well. Yeah yeah!
Just finished 1 project, which is SA. LOL. Learn alot. Bird flu and a lot of useful information. =) Great job guys.

I love my peers.
Hug.