+whatever+

Welll....
You make me fed up. Really fed up today. Stop saying you like me when you really don't seem to. I definately hate you! Please disappear from my sight, you JERK! I hate small kid. I'm not going to believe your words again. You lost my trust in you. I'll be playing RO more and more seldom, then eventually stop. I'm glad that I'll not be seeing you in my life again. So just get lost. Good bye, JERK!

+Let the rain fall and wake my dream+

+come clean+

What the hell?! I'm feeling deep down in the drain now. It's raining some more. Feel like crying and crying. Stupid Eddie makes me so fed up that I'm hating him right at the moment. Sux! Hate him to the core. Somebody please bash him up. Shouldn't have know him from the start. Flirt and flirt and flirt. Whatever. It's alway him who spoil my day. TT Sighhhhhhhhhh~ Nelson what should I do? Arghh.. I hate RO! Deleting every Eddie's message. Dots! Don't every make me feel pissed off. I'll curse and swear at that person. Eddie, please go and die! Sob sob~

+I give u my heart but U give it away+

+coldness+

Sighhhhhh~
Today is such a bad day! Raining day. First time try playing tennis in the rain. >.< feeling so cold in class that I tembled when I'm giving speech. Oh my gosh! Definately going to be mark down on my marks. TT After reading the news about the monday or sunday tsunamis outbreak, I almost cry. Seeing that more than 150 childrens were killed in that waves, make me realise that life is really vulnerable. Sending my prayers to the deads. *praying silently in the breeze of the night*
Quite happy that received ur last night message. But who knows bad thing happened after that? sweat~ Well.. I really got nothing to say if U're going to continue with that kind of attitude when talking to me. Nelson never did anything wrong and U misunderstand him. He's just trying his best to make me happy when u're not there to share my woes. Should I say he's much more mature than u? I hope that U won't be so xiao qi. Cool down and think clearly. I shouldn't demand too much from U. Maybe it's just a crush? yaaaa... Should be. Tired.

+ everything behind me seems so insignificant +

+Flummoxed feelings+

Sighhhh~
Tomorrow will be having school again. >.< So boring. Some more this week got OS test. I can't even understand a single thing of the array in programming. Not interested in whatever I do. I don't even remember in doing the A-math quiz online. Shit! play too much RO and too into Christmas le. I'm dead.
Don't even know what I want in U. Don't even know whether u're true towards me. Don't even seem to believing in U anymore. I'm flummoxed! Some sort of sadness filled inside me. Feel like crying but yet I must be strong. If U really need me, please show me your concern! Action speak louder than words!~ TT

+Seem near yet so far+



hahaha~ your pic appear in my blog? whenever see ur face I feel like laughing. =X weeeeeee~ I'm evil!

+Hohoho+

Merry Christmas everyone!
After tonight, it'll be Christmas. Weeee~ I can feel the breeze of Christmas. Today received many presents! I just brought smarties for the class, hope u all don't mind. Received f3 presents, Jocyceline gave me a snoopy glass, June gave me box of chocolates and Shu Fen gave me a magic pen (a pen with light when u write something)! I love the guys in our class! They are sooooo cute and sweet. ^^ Thanks for the Santa hat and the flower. Hmm.. Weiwah, thanks for the bear.After that went to orchard with F3. So many people. So many things on sales. A lot of people carrying big and small shopping bags, as if those item are free. Sweat~
Today meet Eddie in town. Eh... He quite good looking. haha.. But there is a problem in age. Hmm.. Kinda lame, keep on asking me lame questions. So young already got a wear earring on his right ear le. Oh my gosh! I was stunned when I saw it. In game always bully people but in real life.. So shy? Or act de? hahaha..
Well.. He's thirsty and yet he doesn't want to buy some water. Lazy to go was his excuse. I keep on telling him to go buy some water. Then he said, I scare later U run away when I go buy water. I was... A bit happy? haha.. Whenever I see his message I'll get a bit excited. Don't know why leh. Ahhhhhh..
Don't tell me I....... No idea. >.< Why am i alway choose people younger than me? Where are all the older guys?! arghhh.. Wo bu xi huan! Wishing everyone enjoy your christmas! hohoho~

+we met, we laughed, we held on fast, and then we said good bye and who'll hear the echoes of stories never told+



santa claus in class. Weeeeeee~

Christmas Neo prints! Hohoho.. Merry Christmas!

+Around the corners+

Hmmm... One more day and it'll be... Christmas! Yesh! I can get my christmas present from June, Jocyceline, Shu Fen and the guys.. Guys better don't disappoint us! hahaha~ Weeeee~ So anxious about this friday. Going to celebrate after classes. ^^ Love u guys! Hmmm... Brought presents for everyone. >.< I'm broke le. Money money where are u?! Tired~ Tomorrow having A-math test. Hopefully I can get the formulas right and a clear mind. Cya~

+It takes 3 seconds to fall in love. But 3 decades to get along+

+Christmas Mood+

HoHoHo.. Merry Christmas!
XD It's friday again and we went to town again. Shop shop, look around, update my fashion sense. Haha.. Today only Shu Fen and jocyceline soend quite a amount of money. I only spent money on foods. I'm trying to save up so that I got money to buy Jocyceline's present. But who knows in the end, we still got no idea what to get for my receiver, left us to draw lots. Haha.. Jocyceline spent the most, on her bf and her wallets, Perrie Cardin. Nice looking wallet, that costed her 130bucks. Difficult to feed a boyfriend. This and that to get for him. Wo yang bu qi xiao bai lian~ =X Shu Fen brought a kawaii shoes at heeran. Love the design of those shoes. *ai shi ni men le* haha.. Saving up money for clothes and shoes.
Suddenly feel myself so into christmas mood. So i decided to change my blogskin. *Love my blogskin now* Love the raining day of winter, love the decoration of christmas tree and building in orchard, love the song rythems that come out from the church, love most is that a new year is coming! Haha.. Hmmm... Seeing U feel so bored of life, I don't know how to cheer U up. The meaning of life is to be discover by urself. U will understand it someday. Just wait patiently.^^ Got to stop writing now. So many things undone. Haven't practise piano for a long time. Having violin lesson tomorrow. Need to sleep. Oink oink~

+To be kind is to be cruel+

+hao lei+

Zzzz....
Feel so tired today. Hao lei hao lei.. No mood to talk to anyone in the morning. Think I'm having sleep deprivation. haha.. Today, when we're having our lunch, some people approached Shu Fen, asking her whether she wants to join in the nomination for ICT school belle. haha ^^ know how pretty are u now? So stop saying that urea fat, because urea not. CD Christmas is around the corner. So excited about it! Have a great talk with F3 today in the library after school. June is so adorable today. Because mummy makes her high lah. haha.. Guess what happened? Mummy was joking about what to give shu fen for her Christmas present. Then June was drinking green tea? She's so excited about it that when mummy said out the present, June spat out her bubble tea. haha.. Then shu fen was..... Shock! Sitting right in front of June. haha.. Some water spat to Shu fen's face. She starts saying yuck. haha.. June say green tea is good for skin. But with her saliva in it? *sweat* haha.. Is June really going to buy for me the Adidas bag? I'll definitely love U deeply if u could buy it for me. haha.. Saw her expression changed when I told her I want an adidas bag. Just kidding only lah. Don't worry. I think I have something in mind. Hmmm.. A Fleshimp T-shirt will do. ^^ Don't know what to buy for Jocyceline. I can't afford ur LV bag or LV wallet. Too expensive le. Anyone got any jobs to recommend me? Need money desperately to feed my three girlfriends. haha..
Sigh.. Gotta buy so many textbooks tomorrow. So expensive some more. I'm broke. Anyone can sponsor me free textbooks? haha.. Having BIS test tomorrow. Without a textbook with me, how am I going to study my BIS? I'm such a weird person. Lacking behind the class, still so slack. Guess this is my personality bah. >.< I'm dead meat. Wish me good luck tomorrow bah~

+holidays were over+

Hiyayayaya~
So long since I last wrote my blog. XD Guess I'm always that lazy. haha slacking everyday in school, taking thing each at a step, moving as slow as a turtle, slowly and slowly, finally realizing that everyone is ahead of me. This is ME. haha. Friday went shopping with F3 again. haha.. Brought some clothes. Actually is suppose to buy sport shoes for tennis but in the end I brought a demin skirt and a fleshimp shirt. haha.. Wasting money again. June and Jocyceline have to go off first as they have something on. Saw Jocyceline's boyfriend working in Taka, guess what? Her boyfriend look quite dashing. haha.. Well dressed, I like guys who dress in long sleeve and tie, look so formal. XD Then Shu Fen and me went to heeren to shop shop a while. And guess what? haha~ We saw an adidas jacket, pink and grey. Look so sweet~ Shu Fen was so into that jacket and wanted to buy it. haha.. Impulsive act? When I reached home, the first thing I did was to hide my clothes into the cupboard. haha
Hmmm.. Cheer up bah. Knowing that U're sad, while I can't do anything to cheer U up, I feel so useless. Let nature take it course bah. Kang kai dian~

+Cameron Highland+

HellOooo
Back from cameron highland for one week le. Actually I do blog this few day, but I forgot to publish my blog for hours, in the end, it turn out I got to re-blog again. I was like what?!
Yesterday went to my ex secondary school mate, Xin Hui's house to celebrate her birthday. They sang ka la Ok. Hahaha.. All of them were like so shy. They didn't want to sang no matter how xin hui pleased them to sing. haha.. Luckily later on, some of them began to get in tune and sang together. ^^ But I still didn't sang. haha.. Don't know how to sing. We took quite a number of photo at her house. About 7pm then we took out the cake and sang her birthday song. Quite enjoyable. Cameron highland is a great place to relax. The air there is so flesh and cooling. The temperature can be as low as 18 degree celsius. Didn't have time to shop for clothes or gifts for u all, F4. So sorry about it. >.< School is reopening in few more day. Sigh. My pimples still didn't get well. Sad leh. TT Hopefully it'll recover as soon as possible~
Oh well, my dad almost confiscate my laptop due to my over using it during the holidays. TT sad sad sad. Quarrel with him almost everyday. I got attitude problem? Am I? ahhhh~
Today is ur birthday. haha I have a good memory right? Shen ri kuai le~ May your wishes come true and angels watching over you.

+only me+

WOoooo~ Finally performed for the family concert. Yesterday me and Joyceline were so nervous that we were going to stone at the fast tempo music tune. haha. Luckily we didn't. Unexpected our performances were to be quite well done, better than our rehearsal de. haha. A pity that June and Shu fen couldn't attend our concert. Got to go home alone. So boring. Love piano a lot! Envy Edward again. How come he's so good in music, in term of musical instruments. I wanna be like him! Hope my boyfriend will turn out this way. Have a passion for music too. hahaha. Dreaming again.
Today is suppose to ton at Joyce's house but turn out I have to go home. So sad. My mum doesn't allows me to stay overnight at her house. What the hell?!! I'm very furious at this. I'm thinking that I'm already 18 years old le. Old enough to know what I'm doing and take care of myself. Well, whatever. I'm not that angry anymore. Heck care. *relaxing in the melody of yanni's song* Nice man. Got to learn all his piano pieces. haha. Guess it'll take me years to be a pianist. >.< Please give me some motivation~ *mesmerizing in myself* haha.

+Dreaming+

Sigh~ So many things happened today. First, late for Npstrings practise today. Luckily they haven't start practising. Reach the club house at about 1.30pm, looking restless and soul-less. haha. Just don't feel like talking to anyone. Don't even know why. Am I anti-social? Oh my.. I think I got attitude problem. Sigh. I didn't improved in my speed nor the right tune. Still make alot mistakes and the sound is so weird. Stopped a few time during the rehearsal. When will I don't make any mistake? Today heard edward playing piano. So evny him, the way he plays, u can feel that his song is alive, those type of soul music. To me his standard is more than grade 8. Just that he didn't got a diploma yet. When will I make it to his stardard? Sigh. Borrow Yanni scores from him. Those pieces quite soothing. Quite suit my taste. haha. Hopefully, tomorrow I can photocopy, by friday it'll be ready. So many grade 8 pianist in Npstrings. oh myyyy.... I'm way below them. >.< Well got to practise very hard for my piano and violin. Three more days and I'll be performing for the family concert. Way to go!
Secondly, got home quite late today, unexpectedly. We're held up by the second rehearsal. So when I got home, I'm motivated to play on my piano. Play until 9.15pm. Daddy nagging at me, as I didn't even bath and eat my dinner. Well, come online at about eleven. Daddy and mummy start nagging at me again. Some more the way my dad nags is those type of shouting one. So U could hear it when U're just walking past my house. Not in good mood today, I just fight back. Then nagging turned into quarreling. I shout back. Fighting for my rights. This is no way in teaching a child to obey U. Every child has a different character. Your way of teaching is already the past. Not every child can stand the way their parents teaching method. Sigh. I don't really mean to quarrel with anyone. it's not that I'm grow up and I have my own wings to fly. it's not that.. Just that I need some freedom and respect. I don't wish to have everything until ur control. Moody. Bloodly. Worn out. I need respect!

+wo hui lai le+

WooHoo~
I'm back from my camping. Finally, after 5days 4 nights camping, I'm feeling very worn out. But overall the camp is quite a nice one. whahahaha.. We did a friendship dance during the last night which is yesterday night. Haha. I'm the first dancer which means I got to move around and dance with other second dancers. haha. Fun. I get to hold a lots of guys hands leh. whahaha. At the same time also got to hold girls hands lah. I held Wei Qiang's hands leh! whahahaha. Canoe vice captain leh. whahaha. I also held jonathan's hands, Tian le's hands and Alvin's hands. haha. I like the dancing the most. So fun! Jocyceline, are u jealous? whahaha U should attend the dance. haha. Hmm yesterday didn't sleep well, only sleep for about three hours, because last night le. Everyone was so enthusiastic about playing games. So we went over to the guy's room to play game, as the dorm is more bigger. I played the story teller game, with characters : polar bear, civilian and wise man. Quite fun at first, but as I played and played, I'm feeling more and more tired. So I stop playing at about 4am? Think so. Then I sat on a empty mattress and day dream. haha. Why are Jeremy they all always vote for jonathan to be kill. Jonathan looks so innocent to me. hahaha. Then after a while, Alvin came over to accompany me. He taught me how to play the guitar, how to identify those keys and strings. Then he also play to me the songs he practiced for the family concert. Hao hao ting. I like the piece, 'Can't help falling in love with you'. Although he only play the bass, but already quite nice. Plus his singing. Woooo~ He's quiet a nice guy. haha. Jocyceline said his eyes look like her neighbour eyes. haha. Are u interested in him? If I will to comment anything about the camp, I will complain about the bed. haha. I keep on telling the first Jeremy that the bed is too hard to sleep onto. Whenever he asked about how's the camp, I'll definitely comments about the bed. haha. *Yawn* getting tired, very tired. Family concert is coming, Npstring will be busy practicing. Got to work very hard to get the keys and sound right. A lot of the keys is out of tune. Oh my, I'm so nervous. Way to go.

+Can't help falling in love with you+
Wise man say only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life too
For I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life too
For i can't help falling in love with you
For I can't help falling in love with you

+Thoughts+

I can't cry. Or should I say, I don't even know how to cry anymore? I had fogotten how to cry. My tears no longer flow out from my eyes. Because my heart is bleeding, that it has make me too pain to cry for help. I lost myself in your shadow.
In love..
It doesn't matter whether who will take the role of a guy or a girl.
It doesn't matter how much time u spend with each other.
When two person are deeply in love,
it is intoxicated.
When hatred filled the heart,
it will easily break the heart.
The most miserable thing in life is to keep on waiting for the person that can never be yours.
The most foolish person in life is not to be brave enough to tell him/her that you love him/her.
The hardest thing to do in life is to watch the one u loved, love the other person.
Be contented because u might never know when u will be losing what u have.
Never take someone for granted, the person close to your heart and soul.
Because u might wake up one day to realize that a diamond is lost while u're busy gathering stones.

+Camping Time+

Yawn~
So boring at home. Always scolded by my dad and he will start throwing things at my lappy. Oh my, please loh. So childish. Some more I'm so old le, I know what I'm doing. Is it wrong to play online game? Please piss off man. I'm so irritated by his nagging. I really got nothing to do ma. Then U want me to do? Find a job? U think I don't want to? U think it's very easy? Oh my... I think I'm going nuts. Luckily next week I won't be at home. whahaha. Going to enjoy my camping in school. Guys, must miss me hor. I'll miss u all de. >.<

+Do not cry if the Sun sets at the end of the day, because the tears will not let you enjoy the beauty of the Stars+

+Nothing+

Nothing much to say. All day laze at home and rot. Play ro~ ^^ fun sia. haha. After that incident, I really don't know what to say. Fear grows within me. Emotionless. At first hatred filled me. But after alone for sometime, I discovered that I had no right to object what u're doing, no right to tell u what to do. If u really blocked me, I really got nothing to say. I won't blame U. U're still my friend. Since now, u're in a relationship, just wish u good luck bah. Yao jia you! Take good care. Anything need my help just message me.
+To understand it all was to forgive it all+

+Sentosa outing+

whahahahahaha..
Today T11 went to sentosa~ whoohoo. Only seven of us went lah. haha not all. Such a pity that there is no sun today. So Yee Sheng is still that white? hahaha. Don't worry, there will still be a next outing in sentosa. Coming soon. Please stand by. haha. Didn't get to tan as well. Raining a few minute after we got into palawan beach. we play "monkey" in the sea. Quite fun. then Joc, June and me begin to strip? hahaha.. Not really. just took off our clothes, of course we are wearing bikini inside lah. DiaoZ~ haha. Show off our figure. hahaha. no lah. I got no figure to show. Flat like airport. haha must drink more papaya milk shake le. hahaha I feel so high? Must be the volka effect lah. See lah. Let a young kid like me drink so much alcoholic. haha. I prefer weiwah buy de alcohol leh. Is it volka lime? Taste more like soft drink. haha Not much thing we did at sentosa. Because of that stupid raining lah. Just leave sentosa by about 4pm? Think so. On the journey out, I think I drop my dad's digital camera pouch on the bus. So unlucky man. Some more is not my digital camera leh! Oh my.. Start panicking and look all over the place. So well of course didn't managed to find it. Then went to parklane to play pool. haha. All xiao didi down there lah. My favourite? hahaha. No way man. Not going to like xiao didi anymore. So immature. haha. Then after that went to PS for dinner, the grilled chicken was nice at the food court. U all should try it. Well, of course I didn't forgot about my dad's camera pouch. After dinner, went to Song brother and brought a digital casing. So expensive leh!! It costs me $17. oh my.. I'm penniless now. haha. Sigh. Some more my dad don't like it. Oh my.. He doesn't accept the casing. Waste my money leh. Feel so heart pain! My $17! It's my one day outing allowance leh. SobSob..
Hmmm.. I really thought about it for a long time. I'm really not suitable for relationship. I'm not going to blam u anymore. I'm forgiving u and forgiving myself. I'll not think about our past as often as before. I'll not tell u I still like u alot anymore. I'll not say anything that offence u anymore. I'll not write about u as much as possible. All this while I had been very unhappy and depressed about it but now, I finally release what is inside my heart. Here I am to say that: ' I'm really happy for u, to found the person who u really like so much. I really hope that we can be best friend. All I hope for is just best friend and that will be happy for me. Because if U're happy with her, I'll be happy for u too. I'll feel the happiness too. I wish u the best of luck. Must try harder to win her heart hor. Yao jia You! Wo hui zhi chi ni de. One more thing, my instinct tells me that ur computer is not spoil. Think u block me in ur msn bah. Hmm.. If this is the case, I really got nothing anymore to say. Is there any misunderstanding between us? I really can't afford to lose this friendship between us. We're purely friends. ' Yup. This will make both of us more comfortable. ^^
+Hatred will only makes a person miserable+

+coincidence+

Yawn~ Yesterday sleep at alomst 5am. haha. Play ro, train like hell. Finally my base level is level 60 le, as for job is only level 45. But I change my job to assassin at 45. Lazy to train anymore. So difficult leh. Today saw ur friends again! Oh my.. So coincidence? Really so qiao. Happened that when i'm with TriaLz, I saw ur friend, kamuza, or what. Dots! He thought I'm TriaLz's gf. Oh my god. Wei.. Are u avoiding me or what? How come this few day never see u online? What happened to u? Are u okay? Think I'm gonna sms u tonight bah. Quite worry about u. haha. Ni zhe zhi zhu zhong shi ran ren dan xin.
Brought a violin just now. Guess how much it costs? Quite expensive man, it costs $315 for the violin. haha. Of course my mum pays for it lah. Where can I get that sum of money? I need a job man. Now having my holiday, feel so boring at home, must do something so that I won't be that free to think too much. Yup. Job~~~~~~~~~ Then at cristofori, there is this guy playing piano so well. Some more very smooth. I hear until I feel so inferior. He played Ou de yang- gu dan bei ban qui. Hao hao ting. Zhen de hao xi huan ta de qui! haha. He looks young. Like my age? haha Hope to have this kind of boyfriend, so that I can get to hear his playing everyday? But he is so tall. About 180cm? Or maybe because I'm short? haha. Quite excited about this coming tuesday, T11 going to sentosa. hahaha. Yeah! Feel like buying a bikini leh, but I'm broke le. Must plan my budget well or else I'll be left with no money on tuesday. Ya. Cya. Miss u.

+waiting for u+

Hmmm.. Today was a great day for swimming? haha. Meet f2 at 11.30am but went swimming in the afternoon at about 12pm? That was when the pool was just open. Swim around for about 1hour plus then due to jocyceline feeling cold, we got out of the pool and went for a bath then went off. Wahhhh... I'm darker le. haha Gosh. My body has two colors now. So funny. My hands are more darker than my legs. How come? hahaha..
This two days never see u online, busy playing ur ro or ton at ur friend house? haha kinda miss u leh. zhen de xiang ni. Did i talk too much that u're avoiding me? haha hmmm.. Few day ago I met your friend in ro. haha guess what he said? "Are u supreme #17?" I was shocked. haha. I just reply nope. Guess because my nick is SuPreMe, then he thought I'm u bah. Play acro leh. See ur friend is playing too leh. Play leh~ haha. Miss ur scolding leh. Wo shi zhu cai xi huan ni? hahaha just kidding. Faster come online and quarrel with me! haha don't make me worry hor. xiang ni. xiang ni. xiang ni. Zai deng ni.

+Life has ending, Love doesn't+

+Love+

LOVE, Like RAIN,
can nourish from above,
drenching couples with a soaking joy.
But sometimes, under the angry heat of life,
love dries on the surface and must nourish from below,
tending to its roots,
keeping itself alive.

+If one day+

Hiya~~~~
Today went to watch movie with T11. haha.. Actually not the whole class, only eight of us, including me. We went to lido to watch Wimbledon. That movie is quite interesting. It's about two tennis people who fall in love at first sight. Quite romantic. It's quite exciting at the end of the movie. The male actor is competing for the championship. Well, guess u guys should know the answer. It will alway be the male leading actor be the champion. haha. Then we went to far east to take neoprints. Si samuel. Hate him leh. Draw my mouth until like this. So ugly. haha. Then melvin can't be see, guess murgesh is too huge in size le. haha. Nevermind, we still got next time. But overall the photo taking session is quite fun. Yeah man! haha. then after that went to play pool. Quite fun, enjoy it. Even through long time never play pool le. This is the second time I'm playing pool le. Still got abit unstable and having difficulties. This time, we f4 had broke record le, the latest time we went shopping together. only 6pm plus lah. haha. We are good kids. =P
Hmmm... What should I say about u? What I should say, I already say. But I think whether I had said or not, it won't has any effect at all. If one day, I suddenly disappear, will u message me and concern about me? To u, i may be just a simple friend of yours. But to me, U're not just a simple friend of my. Am I too greedy? Maybe I am. I'm learning to be content. Ya, should be content. Wo men shi hao peng you. Hmm.. Your display picture really very sweet and nice. I want it~ haha. But I shall not force u. It's your choice. Your decision. Sigh. I'm a loser. Let it be. Let it be. Let the rain fall and wake my dream.
[ love is not an on off lightbulb, that U can on or off anytime ]
This is those neoprints that we took. haha. Funny right? No comments about my lips hor. If not..... U're dead meat. hahaha.

+cherish U+

I am so bored today. Wonder how am I going to spend my holidays. Gotta rot at home. Can't play computer for the whole day, or else at night I can't use my computer. Then cannot chat with U. Sigh. Oh my... I'm so hua chi again. haha. Jocyceline there all lah, make me think of ke qiang. haha. How about u guys go there and cut ur hair again? Then I can get to see ke qiang again? *sheepish giggles* haha. I want his picture leh. Who can help me get? haha. *still dreaming* Gosh.. I'm insane le. Dream until like this. Please wake me up bah. haha
This morning thought about many things. Then read my yesterday blog, discover that I don't even understand what I am talking about. haha. Oh well, guess yesterday not in good mood to blog and I'm so childish to be mad at U for being concern about me. I'm such a noob! Sorry ya. I'm so immature. Didn't mean any offences. Hope U won't take it to heart about what I said yesterday. Hmm.. If U have any problem, must share with me de hor. I can't promise to help U solve it, but I promise to be there for U, listening to U quietly no matter what. Human is always such a fool. Only after losing, then they realize how valuable it's to them and start to cherish it. But often it may be too late. Well, cherish everyone that U have, because U might not know when U're going to lose them. If that time, I want U to stay by my side, will the outcome still be the same? Xi huan ni~
+Love is something that U can't afford to play mind games+

+unfolding the truths+

Today a lot of things happened. In the morning went back to Ngee Ann for npstring, violin test. I did badly for my sight reading, but the rest quite okay for me. Hopefully I can pass the test. So that I get to play other piece of songs. *Waiting for that day to come* Then after the test, jocyceline and me went out together, meet shu fen, then go bugis shop for bags. haha. Then to orchard. Shop around for Jocyceline's vintage skirt. Today everyone also got brought something except me. Keep on looking at shoes. haha. So nice leh. Love ballet shoes design the most! haha. Then we went back home at around 5pm plus.
sSigHhhhhhss.... So sad after reading June blogger. I can really understand how she is feeling, I had been through before too. But seeing the guy that u really like, asking for other girl number, is totally a tearful thing. Sigh. Some more something untoward happened to my best friend. I'm even sadder. Cried when I hear his story. So sad! Why why why? But he still seems so cheerful, why is he so strong compare to me? I asked him, "are u acting strong in front of us?" He said no. He forgot everything le. I don't believe him. I know he was very hurt inside. But I just can't find the right word to console him. Just know how to cry for him. His inner feelings go unspoken, unnoticed, unloved. I feel so sorry as a friend, can't even help him. I'm so useless, a good for nothing person. Suddenly feel that u're so noble compare to me. U're the one that know my feelings and led me to the lighted path when it was dimmed. I'll be there for u, my friend, I promise.
Hmmm.. Ke qiang is just a guy that I had crush on. It's not like. It's just a different kind of feelings. Until now, U still need me to spell out for u, who I really like? U knew the answer yourself. You xi shi zhen de ke yi gen ni shou ma? Don't lie beneath your teeth. I'm not the one who U really like. Don't be good to me because U feel that u hurt me before. This is not the feeling I'm looking for. Maybe I'm acting childish or what, but I really very care about how u see me as. Zhe gen yang zi hao you zhi bah? Can't be help. Too emotional le, even my friend also shock that I crying when he told me the news. When can I stop being childish? Sigh. Miss ya.
+Some things are better left unsaid when u knew the answer+
I found this meaningful and touching paragraph in june's blog. Paste it up to share with u all. Really sadden by this after reading it.
"If you see me walking the road with someone else, It's not because I like his accompany.
It's because you're not brave enough to walk beside me.
If you hear me talking about him all the time, It's not because he pleases me.
It's because you're too deaf to hear my heartbeat.
If you feel me falling with someone new, It's not because I love him.
But because you're not there to catch me fall.
If you feel lost, I too am nowhere.
I too don't know where the road is going.
Are we gonna cross each other's path?
Or just completely turn around?
Will we just let go of what we had?
Don't let me walk with him, It's you I want to walk with.
Don't let me talk of him, It's you I want to talk with.
Don't let me fall for him, It's you I want to fall in love with."

+Am I+

Oh my... Today I have to wake up so early to go school for violin practice. Sob~ Cannot have a bit more sleep, some more yesterday I slept so late. Then after the practice we went to meet shu fen to go toni&guy to cut hair as jocyceline meet an appointment le. haha.. I see ke qiang again. He is wearing white and black stripes T shirt today. Still giving people those sweet and gentle feeling. haha.. The way he smiles is so cute. cutie~ We just say a few words to each other. Then when we are leaving the saloon, actually I wanted to say good bye to him de. Some more he so near me. But then he looking at the magazine, so I never say. But I think he knows that I want to say good bye to him. Sigh. Nothing interesting. haha. Hmmm.. Feel so excited when he talks to me. How come? Am I falling for him? Well.. Better not. He is just a guy who cut my hair and dye my hair. I'm just a customer to him. Nothing special. Gosh.. I'm attracted to gentle guy. hahahaha.. He really is a very gentle person. Believe that he has the quality to make a girl happy. Man.. I'm really insane le. Help me F3! haha I must be royal de. Must deng ni de. haha.. Jocyceline and june are not so happy with her new hair cut. Maybe because they are not use to her fringe. But look cute leh. Come let me pinch ur face. hahaha
Sometimes U make me feeling so tired and fed up, but sometimes u make me feel so happy and warm. Hmmm.. Are u sure u really want to play Acro? Or u want to download Acro is because I forcing U to download? No idea. Am I being too sensitive again? haha.. Tomorrow got violin test, pray for me to pass. haha. Miss ya.

+I am nobody+

Whahahaha~ So long never write blog le. Exams are finally over le! I'm so happy. The holidays ahead of me seem so exciting. haha. Guess I'm really over excited le. haha. Yesterday feeling so stress about the CSA exam. After doing the paper, I cried when I left the hall. So stress. sigh. Don't even think I can pass the paper. The questions were so difficult, I don't even know how to answer them. Mcq itself is already so difficult. Please kill me. I almost got all the answers wrong by comparing with park. Please be kind to me.... sigh. Today FS paper is quite difficult too, but not as bad as CSA paper. At least FS paper I still know how to do about three questions. haha.. The rest no idea le. Question 3c is so tough. Oh man.. We didn't even learn that before. I was like staring at the paper for quite long before I moved on to other questions. But at least I'm not stuck with the first question. Glad about it.
Well, at last, our class went out to eat together. Although not whole class, but majority of them. We ate lunch at pizza hut. So fun! Samuel keeps on saying funny things. But sometime the way he says it, is quite offensive. After lunch went shopping again. Only the four of us as the guys want to go play CS. haha. Enjoy it. Brought a pair of shoes. But I think looks abit like my previous silver shoes from POA. haha. But this shoes is more cheaper compare to that POA's shoes. Much more. haha. Hmmm.. We went took neoprint, da tou zhao. We didn't prepare what actions to do, therefore quite boring for posting the same post. haha. But I like the neoprint, at least I look okay in it. whahaha. New hair cut, new styling, new beginning. haha Am I crazy? Maybe, study too much le. haha. I need a big break! Give me a kit-kat.
So excited about tomorrow. I'm accompanying Jocyceline to cut her hair. What should i wear tml?Can see ke qiang again le. Hao xi fen! hahahaha.. No lah, just kidding de. Only interested in u. Hmmmm.. Today chat with U again. So happy. Oh my, I guess I'm really over excited le. U really need to give a thought for ur future leh. I mean it. U can't be playing basketball for the rest of ur life. Think about ur future, who U wanna be, what U wanna be? At the same time, I keep on wondering are U really worth it for my waiting? Already going on to the 3rd month. It's still the same feeling. Hmm.. "I don't mind standing in the pouring rain just to see U smile." remember this sentence? It means I don't mind going through all the hardship just to see u happy. Even the person u choose is not me. I need to know ur decision. What's on ur mind? Tell me whether should i continue waiting? When will the angel i have been hoping for come into my life? I wonder.

F4 de pictures. Neoprints~~~~~~ hahahaha. one more, two more, and more and more and more! Love ya~

+lady night+

HoOoRaYy
Yesterday finally meet up with my Secondary School friends. Well, we went to Mache at heeren, to celebrate one of my friends, Agnes's birthday. I was late for the dinner, as I went to citylink there to buy Wan Jun's belated birthday present. Brought something cute for her. haha last minute. Thought I'll be the most late comer, turn out that Pc was the most late comer. haha. See lah, go dye your hair lah. I ate a few thingy only, soup, one slice of pizza and two scoop of ice-cream. The foods there are so expensive! Once u see the price of it, u don't feel like eating anymore. haha Am I over exaggerating? Some more it's my friend treating us, bu hao yi shi. We seem to be ordering a few dish only, but the bill turned out to be $126bucks. More than my friend budget. Luckily she used her visa card, or else we will end up down there washing plates. haha.. Then the birthday girl had to rush to airport to send her aunt back to New Zealand. So sad, only spent one hour plus having dinner with her then she had to go off le. We took a lot of picture in Mache. *Hope to see the picture soon*
Hmmm.. Then we went to take lot and lot of neo prints. hahaha.. Neo print queens~ All of my friends said I look good in this new hair style. haha Really meh? Pc said I looked more mature when I waxed up my hair and the color look good. I'm always mature de, only u don't know. As for the color, I think it's still a bit too light. Not used to my hair color. I think ting hair style looks great leh. Like her hair style, suit her, quite stylo. But she find her fringe too short, maybe she never cut her fringe that short before. hahaha.. Have a great night with the ladies. Hoping to meet u girls when the exams are over. Then we can go shopping like hell. haha..
[ Happiness doesn't depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions. It isn't what you have or who you are . Or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it ]

This is the so call "Birthday Cake". haha.. Mache cake very expensive so we only order five slices of cake with different favour.


Here are some of the neo print that we took yesterday. haha.. So fun! Lot of postures.

+dead meat+

What the hell?! I'm dead meat le. I don't think I can pass Psp1. How? So difficult leh. Even through I did cheat. But it's still difficult! It was hell for me. I spend so much time on the first question that I think I only left 15mins for the second and third question. Oh my...... I can't understand the question at all. I can't think well, panic leh. My mind went blank. Just anyhow scribble through. Sigh. It was a disaster man! Exams are going to make me sick. So sick~ Play too much meh meh game le. "How many meh meh jump over the wall?" hahahahaha.. This was what june repeating in class. We were all playing game when we were supposing to revise for the test. Indeed, I finally understand what does hard work pays off means. Sigh! But all the guessing games are so interesting! Hao wan hao wan, wo xi huan. hahaha..
Today meeting my hairdresser, Ke qiang. He's so good leh. Wait for me since 6pm till 7.10pm. So embarrasing. Hahaha.. See lah, talk to f2 and shancai talk until forgot the time le. Laughing like hell, "Bang bang bang! Who die?" hahaha.. Then Ke qiang and me meet at Dhoby Ghaut mrt station there, he passed me the wax then i gave him the money. The wax is so expensive! $28 leh. A big hole in my pocket to buy such a thing. Almost can buy the slipper i wanted and it's only $29.90. The smell of the wax really smell like bubble gum. Delicious, yummy. Because of me he's late for his dinner with someone. haha.. Guess who? Think is his girlfriend bah. So sorry to make u late for ur date. Zhen de dui bu qi. He smsed me about the wax, then tell me he is eating in a mexician restaruant. So good! I also want to go there and eat. Be his girlfriend surely very fortunate de. He's such a good guy. Too bad he's attached le. No more second thought. I like the way he dressed, like poly student, quite stylo. Haha.. Okay, enough of Ke qiang le. Hmmm.. Chat with u today, quite surprise that u'll miss me too. How can I believe u? haha.. Promise me to come np hor. It's a promise between us. haha.. Xiang jian ni~
+No man is worth a woman's tears. The only one who's worth her tears is the one who knows he could but would never, ever make her cry+

Haha.. Here is two picture that we, the F4 took in class on Friday. We are all so crazy over pictures. So cool~ PictureS here we go.

+Emotions+

Wahhhhhh.....
So long never update my blogspot le. It had been so long ever since I last log in. Hmmm.. About three days ago? haha.. So many things happened this few day. Tuesday when I'm boarding a bus to school, something embarrassing happened to me. I can't find my e-zink card when I'm already on the bus. Everyone were already sitting down, only left me, I'm the only one standing and searching for my e-zink card. Searched and searched, still can't find. I began to panic. Then the next unlucky thing was that, I looked inside my purse and realized that I only had one then dollar note, no coins for bus fare at all. Got to go around asking people for change, the most pathetic is that nobody had a ten dollar change. Oh my.. Then ask the guy sitting in front, he had not enough change, but he offend me with so coins enough for my bus fares for free. I was so shocked, I rejected him. Don't want to owe a stranger anything. I'm really grateful for his help. You're a nice guy, may the angels be with you. Thanks! Then at the same time searching my bag. Finally I found my e-zink card, after all the effort asking around people for change. So embarrassing sia. I think everyone in the bus surely will recognize me from that day onward. Ahhhhh.... I feel like digging a hole and bury myself inside. Way to embarrass le. Not only that, I even forgot to bring my library book to return. Some more the date due was that day. What am I thinking all this time? What's on my mind? Wake up, ailin! You are already way behind other. Sigh.
Today I did my programming in class until I feel so stress and feel like crying. I'm on the edge of crying, the tears were already formed in my eyes. I just keep on telling myself, I cannot cry in polytechnic. I'm such a weaklings. When it comes to emotion, it's difficult for me to control. Help! I'm really drowning, can someone give me a lifesaver? I'm going to repeat that module. In fact, every module! Shit. I'm really dead meat le~ No time left to study for my walk through on Friday. How?! I cut my hair already, going to dye my hair tomorrow. haha. I think my back is quite short leh. But when waxed up, quite punkish looking. hahaha... Cool. Shit all I know is style, eat, sleep and play. I'm falling apart. Can't even know who am I le.
+Change the unbearable, bear the unchangeable+

+StreSs fighT+

AhHhhhh.....
This few days don't know why I keep on feeling tired and sleeping all day. I feel like I'm a snake hibernating during winter time. Oh gosh, make me think of Anacondas. Feel so disgusting leh. Think of that make me having goose bumps. Nothing to talk about for today. Haven't go for a hair cut. I want to style my hair. Style it, style it, style it! But the academy never open on weekend only weekday. Some more the booking time is so weird, only can book for 10am, 2pm or 4pm. How am I going to have time to cut my hair? Sigh. This few day eat lots of heaty foods and stress over coming exams, got many pimples popping out. Sigh >.< color="#cc33cc">[ To mean something to somebody is one of the greatest satisfactions in life ]

+Food morE+

Wahhhhh... Finally get CSA assignment done. Today we had our presentation and we are all so nervous throughout the whole presentation. I can feel that I'm stumbling over words and I keep on having pauses! I feel so irritating. Luckily after ten minutes or more, our presentation was over! I felt so relieved. PhEw~ haha. Now all I need is to concentrate on my Psp1 assignment. So difficult leh. Is very difficult! I'm so stress over it. haha. After my Csa lesson, then we go out. We went to town again. haha. Orchard seems to be our second home. Or should I say our Friday leisure place? We all fell asleep in the bus. Jocyceline keep on letting her head fall onto the left side, which is me sitting beside her. haha remind me of the morning incident, where a girl sitting on my right, also keep on letting her hair more and more to the left. Then when she felt her head is on my shoulder, she quickly sleep towards the right side. So funny. haha. Luckily jocyceline wake us up on time or else we will be missing the bus stop and we will find ourselves in the bus interchange. After shopping with F3 for about 1hour, I got to go for my dental appointment. Don't feel like leaving the f3 leh. Had so much fun with them, feeling sad to be separated. haha. Think I had made a waste trip to the dental as she only check my teeth and say I don't need any cleaning. I was so shocked, like this also need to pay money ar? Waste my money and time leh. Feel like doing braces, but my mum says my teeth is not very untidy. Should I or should I not? Braces cost quite a lot leh. Some more got to make appointment with National Dental Health to check my teeth first before proceeding to other. Hmmm.. Then went to meet my secondary school friend, Pc loh, still got who? haha.. The one getting more and more pretty, zhi lian and thinner? hahaha. Just kidding, don't get offend by it. Haha.. We went to shopping and shopping. So many things on my wishlist le. I like the Zara mao mao top leh. But expensive, it's 69bucks leh! Need to save two week of allowance then can buy. I think Pc try the turtle neck white de quite sweet leh. haha look fatter in it, guess it's thick that's why u seems to be fatter. Then our last stop is take neo prints. haha. We're still so into photo taking. So long never take neo prints with her le. Kinda miss the days leh, when the three of us will be squeezing into one camera screen. haha. Hmmm.. Maybe going to dye my hair to cover the white hair. Which color should I choose, guys? Any opinion? Hope tomorrow I can get to style my hair. haha.. Feel so excited over this kind of thingy. Am I going to school to study or for modeling? Both? XD

Seeing u online, waiting for u to click onto me and say 'halo' like u normally do. But wait and wait, u never chat with me. Then I feel so boring le. Well, maybe u're busy with ur game or chatting with her? Hmmm.. Now the distance between u and me seem to be further and further. I'm getting more and more lifeless. More and more blockhead. haha. I also don't feel like thinking about it anymore. It's getting more and more meaningless and useless. Finally one day, will I say "I can't be bother about it?" Hmmm.. With my character, unless u forced me into saying it, if not, don't think I'll say bah. Hao lei, so long never have a good sleep le. Keep on doing projects and projects. Well, got to have a good night rest. Replenish my energy for a better tomorrow.

[The only picture that left in my memory is ur back view]

This is the neoprint that we took~ one blue, other one is in color. haha.. cute right? XD Feel so hungry now~

Recently scan one. haha. Nice right?

+Alive outside, dead inside+

Sigh~ Still got two more projects to rush for. Some more tomorrow got two tests leh! My gosh, how am i going to study? Guess I'm really dead meat le. Assistant needed. haha.. Today when we are having break before Psp1, we go canteen3 and eat da bao. hahaha.. So funny sia. When june brought the da bao and waiting for us to buy something to drink, i told her, "Why u only buy one da bao? U need two to be balance leh." haha we broke into laughter down there. Who knows, i brought papaya milk juice, make the whole topic more funny. Girls, i really don't know what to drink, please think straight. haha Then after that me and shu fen also brought a da bao. haha.. Now got two da bao, we got so excited and become abit horny le. Think the canteen is filled with our laughter. We start to take pictures of the da bao, passer-by students will look at us as if we're a group of lunatics. haha..
Finally u told me that sec 1 girl name le. haha.. Anyway, I don't think that much anymore le. So what if i got her name? I can't do anything ma. I'm taking things as lightly as I can. Think U really think too much le. Don't be stress over relationship lah. Save half of ur heart to think about me leh. hahaha.. I must be dreaming again.

whahahaha.. wo de da bao~ hao hao chi de da bao. Inside got egg some more. haha

+Let it be+

Hohoho~ Today finally finish my Iac project le. i'm so nervous during the presentation. So nervous that I'm stumbling over the words. So embarrassing. Think i'm the only one down there stumbling. haha.. Make a fool out of myself. At least one project lesser. Still got two more to go, Csa and Psp1. Csa is so difficult leh. We don't even know what the teacher wants some more we're not given any example on how should we do the project. We're totally without any guide line. Help~ The Psp1 assignment had already started and yet, i still haven't do yet. haha.. Having honey moon mood now. Sigh. Psp1 is so difficult when it comes to the method thingy. So confusing. Think my hair was damaged from the swimming. Now my hair is getting more and more rough leh. How? haha I feel like reborning my hair. Can someone please sponsor me? haha..
Well, this few days, ever since he doesn't want to tell me who is that girl, I think i'm withdrawing from him. Don't know why. But I'm feeling unfair. It's unfair that he doesn't want to tell me who is the girl. I'm his ex and senior, why can't I know who is that girl. However, when i really think about it, I think I'm just being jealous and childish. If he doesn't feel like telling me, it's okay. I shouldn't be angry or sad over it. haha.. Lin, please grow up bah. Be content! If he wants to tell me, he'll tell. I don't have to force him to say or what. I'll just wait.
[ The opposite of love is not hate. It's indifference ]

+swim, swim and swim+

AhHhh.. Wake up so early in the morning hoping that i can go swimming in Ngee Ann, but end up lazing around in canteen1. Due to raining, all because of my fault, we are suppose to meet at 9am, but i came to scholl at around 9.30am plus. hahaha.. Can't wake up on time. Sorry guys. haha.. But on the other hand, the pool only open at 12pm, haha so not quite my fault. All of them dress so nice even when we are going to swimming, except for me, I wore a bemudes, t-shirt and slippers. haha.. As if I'm going to the market. Now going to rot in canteen1. Park is going to go into Lala's land soon as he forgot to bring battery for his lappie, he's feeling so bored. Jocyceline, june and me are surfing the net. haha.. It's so boring to wait for the pool to open. Waste my two hours sleep leh. hahaha.. Oink oink~ Rotting~ Lazing~ Praying~ Dreaming~ Hope that we do get to swim and hope that the weather won't change anymore. Please don't rain.

Haha.. Here is a photo we took in canteen 1 when park is sleeping. So interesting~

+Be strong+

SobBbb~ Don't know why am I feeling so sad today when I'm chatting with U. I finally know something that U had never tell me before. It's so complicated. Too complicated for me to accept that is the fact. Suddenly, I discovered that U're no longer the person I once knew. Hao nan gou. Hao xiang ku, you bu ke yi ku. Zhe ge gan jue hao nan gou. Hao bei shang. I'm flummoxed. Should I continue liking U? sigh. Wo fang qi. Giving up every single hope. To love someone, U really needed alot of courage. I don't have the courage and got to admit that I lost the battle. Feel like hating U. But it's not ur fault too. Give me some time to settle down. God, please help me! Guide me through the darkness. Forgive U and to forgive myself. zai jian le wo de ai.

曾经为谁哭红了眼睛，那是生命中最美丽的表情。爱是一场不靠岸的旅途，也是上天最骄傲的礼物。前世的500次回首才换来今生的一次擦肩而过，能在茫茫人海中相遇相知，怎能说不是一种缘分？ 也许他们都该庆幸这样的结束。

+A girl, a lady+

HooooooHoooo~
Today I'm kinda tired. Have to wake up on time for my 9am lessons. Csa is so difficult. I really having difficulties in coping that subject. It's getting tougher and tougher. Ahhhh.. S.O.S~ Some more my Immf, i haven't even go through the practical yet. Psp1 assignment is coming soon. I'm dead meat! Today attend PSP1 assignment briefing, the progam is so difficult to create leh. So many JButton,JLabel and JTextField. This is not the difficult part. The most difficult part is the meun things. U got to write in all the main course, drinks, etc and prices so that when u click on to the button, it will show all the meun foods and prices. Sigh. How am I going to handle all this stress? The assignment only take up 10% of the overall, it will be the interview/walkthrough that will kill us. The walkthrough take up 90% leh! It's 90%, it's a written test to test ur ability and to know whether u really understand programming or not. Man.. >.< Today we went to orchard. Brought a purple T-shirt. Quite satisfied. Haha.. Then we went to Far East to eat Ah kun mian bao. So delicious. We took a bite of the bread then use our camera phone and took a picture of it. haha.. so funny. Think only we're the craziest girls down there. Even the small little girl sitting beside us, stare weirdly at us. Trying to figure out what are we doing. Inside the Ah kun mian bao shop, we can feel the ground is vibrating beneath our feet. Is that earthquake? Or is it due to some constriction underneath us? It's quite frightening. Tonight u chatted with me, u asked for my blogspot address again. I gave it to U. Don't know whether am I doing the right thing or not. I'm hesitanting whether should I gave it to U. I'm not worrying about whether what ur answer will be after browsing through my blogspot. I'm worrying about whether U'll avoid me or can we still be friends. Didn't meant to make U even more sadder. Don't think I'm doing the correct thing by letting u see my blogspot bah. Sorry. Cheer up. sigh. I'm not good at cheering people up and consoling people.Just want to let u know that I'm alway there for u, just beside U.
Today is koR birthday le. haha.. Happy Birthday, Chunwei! Must be happy always hor, remember u still got me as ur mei. I'll be there for U.
+I'm a girl, not yet a lady, but a tough one+

Here is the Ya Kun mian bao picture. Haha Yummy~

+small is beautiful+

Hiya~ Today i'm feeling much better than tuesday. haha.. Two days had passed ever since we quarrelled.Today nothing special happened. Tonight i'm abit nervous when i log online. Don't know why. Maybe because of u bah. Worry that we might not be on good term anymore after what i had said to U on tuesday night. Keep on waiting for u to msg me. Well, haha finally u message me in msn. Quite happy leh. Think i'm going to be crazy soon le bah. Can't even understand what i wanted. Emotions totally mixed up. Luckily today never say anything offence to U. I think U should know my blogspot address bah. Half of me don't want to let U know what is my feeling about U, but part of me wanted U to know. What should I do? In the end I never give U my address. Things can never be the same again right? Can they? Are u really going to change for the better as what u promise to be? Hope so bah.

Recently there is something happened to our group F4. Jocyceline blogspot had been hacked. So scary and evil leh. Who is/are the culpit/s behind it? We're not going to let u off. Beware of ur belonging because u might just discover that u have a red note stick on it. F4's warning notes! haha.. Hope that nothing like this will happen again. May we be sound and save.

+Don't let happiness be under duress. Happiness is worth waiting for+

+Hurts deeply+

Haha.. I'm always that foolish to like U. I knew the result all along. Yah. I'm that stupid. I'm that stupid to be concern and care for U. I'm that stupid to wait for U. I'm that idiotic to promise to be there for U. All my fault to like U. It's not ur fault. Ni shi wo wei yi xiang yao de liao jie. U had disappointed me enough. It's enough. Whatever is no longer important le. Because it's my business. My business to give u a chance to hurt me again. My business to let u go, thought that because u like her a lot too and hope your feelings and her will stay there. My business to suffer silently when I don't even want to tell u I like u, because I scare I'll lead to misunderstand between u and her. My business to trying to be cheerful in front of u when I'm not. Whatever things, is MY BUSINESS. Believe it or not, I'm crying just because u say "if u're not going to believe me, it's ur problem." It's totally hurts like hell. U don't even know the feeling of liking someone and loving someone. It's not that easily to like someone and then forget about it so easily. Hoping that U will understand me one day. Hoping for one day the fairy tale does happen on me, asking me to be ur princess. But I don't think there will even be a glimmer of hope. I had already done my best in this marathon that has no ending for me to aim. I'm too tired to continue anymore. I'm exhausted in those disappointment rather than joyful moment. I'm totally beaten. I admit the defeat. Don't keep on saying sorry, because u make me feel even more disappointing when i expect more than just a sorry. I should be the one to say sorry when I knew the result and yet keep on digging my own grave into it. My heart no longer had any emotion for anything anymore. Thanks for ur "ur problem", U making me wake up from the beautiful dreamland that I have been waiting for. Buddies forever. It's is all over? God knows.
[Waiting For U Is Like Waiting For The Rain On This Drought]

+waiting and waiting+

Hohoho~ Today went to watch Cinderella story with my friend after my IS class. AHhhhh.. The story is so nice. Just like the fairy tale, except that the glass shoe was changed to a handphone. haha.. Overall is touching. It's all about being who you really are and not trying to be who your parents/people want you to be. Austin is so cute, so does Sam~ haha.. The way Austin is, make me think of Michael. haha.. I think Michael is quite cute leh, don't know why li ting said he looks nerd. haha. How I wish fairy tales do happen in real life. But those tales seem to be like a glimmer of hope. I even doubt that it does happen. Sigh. Oh my.. I must be cheerful. *Can't sigh* haha. The sentence in Cinderella that caught my attention was "Waiting for you is like waiting for the rain in this drought." In fact I like the whole part of that scene when he is going in the changing room waiting have a soccer match till the end. So touching when they finally kissed and the sky starting to rain. Romantic sia~ But too bad, I watched this movie with a girl. haha.. Make me think of that time when I watched Harry potter part3 with U. Do u still remember about it? Haha.. Actually that time, I wanted to rest on ur shoulder de. But, too embarrass to do. It was all in the past. Don't think U'll ever remember about it bah. Some memories are difficult to forget. Just like when it had become the other part of U. There are still a lots of things I wanted to know about U. hmmm.. Guess I got to be more patient. Think I'm feeling a bit more better everyday in my life without U. Praying that U are happy then I'll be contented. haha every little things that u do, make me jump up with delight. Sound so funny. Miss ya so much.
+Seek and U'll find+

+confession+

Today is so boring like the rest of my daily life. Went for piano lesson in the morning then after that just go citylink and suntec walk walk for a while. So many things caught my eyes but pocket no money can't buy. haha so sad sia. Then I saw poh chan's parents. haha.. Didn't recognized them until they called my name. Then I turned back, looked so shock. Glad to see them, so long never see her parents le. Last time used to go her house, but not often. Miss that kind of closeness. For the rest of the day just stay at home and rot.
Hmmm... So happy to see him online again. haha.. I won't do any impulsive action again. Just wait patiently for fate to come in my way. Hai zai deng, deng dao you yi tian, xi wan you ge tian shi nen jie kai zhe ge zhou yu. Zai deng ni...

+confession+

I have been blind

unwilling

To see the true love

You're giving

I have ignored every blessing

I'm on my knees

Confessing...

That I feel myself surrender

Each time I see your face

I am staggered by your beauty

Your unassuming grace

And I feel my heart is turning

Falling into place

I can't hide it

Now hear my confession

I have been wrong about you

I thought I was strong without you

For so long

Nothing could move me

For so long

Nothing could change me

Now I feel myself surrender

Each time I see your face

I am captured by your beauty

Your unassuming grace

And I feel my heart is turning

Falling into place

I can't hide it

Now hear my confession

You are the air that i breathe

You're the ground beneath my feet

When did I stop believing?

by Josh Groban, great lyric right?

+I am such a letdown+

Today is a great day. Went to town after our CSA lesson to catch a movie( The Terminal). The movie was great~ Really funny and quite touching. U guys should watch it. It's about a man from Krakozhia and his native falls into chaos. A state of civil war means he and his country are no longer recognised by the United States government. He is stateless and in a peculiar quandary (access denied). He can neither return home nor enter the US. He's told to stay in a transit lounge and wait. Then later he fallen in love with a flight attendant. Well, for the rest of the story I'm not going to tell U. haha.. Watch it urself, I'm sure u'll never regret spending ur money on this show. After the movie, we went shopping around orchard. Feel like buying the white and orange Puma bag we saw at heren. But quite expensive leh, it is $59.90. More expensive than Shu Fen's Adidas bag. Who can sponsor me? haha.. Then guess what? I saw the pig! Remember the pink and red pig we saw at Bugis during our first date? But at heren only left the white and red pig. Sigh. Shopped until about 5pm then we go home. When I reach home I'm so tired. Feel like a log, too heavy to move around.

Finally, today I received ur msg. I'm so happy and excited about it, but u only msg me that u changed ur hp number. Hmm.. A little bit disappointed. I msg back asking u, "u changed ur hp ar?" U just replied "yup..." Well, I don't know what to reply at all. Suddenly u're so cold toward me. I'm not used to this changes. U're behaving as if I'm a stranger to U. Aren't we suppose to be good friends? Isn't that what we promised? The promise is not there anymore. How am I going to continue liking u when I can't find a single reason for me to like u? Please give me some hope to lead onto. Maybe it was my fault to make such a change in U. I shouldn't change my nick and display picture that day. It's my fault, I'll blame myself if we can't even be friends anymore. Sigh. I miss ur messages and goodnight kiss. But time is not going to turn back, life just move on without waiting for anybody. Life is so transient. Something just can't be force. Let nature take its course. Miss you.

+i'm not e angel, u're looking for+

Another day just pass. People come into my life and go out of my life. When love comes easily, it'll goes easily. Treasure the other part of you when u can. I admitted that I'm not as strong as u seem me to be. I'm just trying my best to be strong, trying the best. Someone told me this before that i'll never ever forget : "Don't try to be strong, just be strong!" Guess i'm going to work hard on being strong. Everytime when someone mentions about him, i'll just hold back my tears. It's difficult to think about a relationship which u once had before then lost it now. sigh. just resign to my fate le. i'm so tired and sick of everything. The hardest u try, the least it'll happen. So u might as well wait silently and expect it the least. When u're really unlucky, there will be something lucky happens to u later on. Maybe.. I just have to wait patiently. Don't be sad becuse it is over, smile because it happened. But how can u ever be happy when it happens on u? Hmmm.. I'm learning to be content with what i have. At least i cherish the friendship i have between us. I do cherish it alot, even through u maybe avoiding me. That is the way i feel ur feelings toward me, u're avoiding me. Are u? Tell me if u're not. I'm sitting right beside u. I may not be the angel u're looking for, but i do have the criterias to make u happy, if i'm given one more chance. +Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing ur enthusiasm+

+zui ni xin fu+

+ninini+

wo men zai yi qi de shi hou, wo bu zhen xi ni, dao le shi qu ni de shi hou, cai lai huo hui mo ji, yi que dou lai bu ji le. gang ren shi ni de shi hou, wo zong shi mei chi shang wang shi, ni zong shi zai di er tian di pei zai wo, dang ni ming tian hai you ke de shi hou, ni zong shi heng wan cai shui jiao de pei wo liao tian, ni dou pei wo jiang hen jiu de dian hua, you shi huo ni pa wo gu du, mei tian pei wo sms, zhe xie, wo zhi ji de, wo zhi dao, wo hen ren xing, you hen ma fan, zong shi xi huan ni chang ge gei wo ting, xi huan ni gei wo wan sms, xi huan ni fan zhe wo, jin guan wo hui jing chang rang ni bu kai xin, sui ran wo lao shi ai hu shi luan xiang, jiu xiang ni shuo de na yang, wo jiu shi ben dan, ke shi wo zhi dao ni hui qian jiu wo, hui dui wo hao de, wo ye yi yang hui dui ni hao, wo zhi shi xiang dui ni shuo : "xie xie ni wei wo zuo de yi qie, wo jiu shi zhe yang cai xi huan shang ni de~"


+wowowo+

Ren shi ni de shi hou bu tai xi huan ni, ye bu xiang xin ni. Wo zhong shi hua yi ni shuo de hua, shi yi wei ni hao xiang hen rong yi xi huan shang bie ren. Ke shi xiang chu jiu le, wo zhen de xi huan shang ni. Wo bu shi bu hui chi chu, er shi wo bu xiang ren ni kan dao wo chi chu de na yi mian. Wo yao ni zhi dao ni zhi ji zai zuo shi me. wo zhi dao ni xi huan shang ta. Qi shi wo shi hen bu xiang ran ni zhou de, ke shi wo qie kai bu liao kou ran ni zhi dao. Ye sui ta zhen de shi he ni. yi wei bei ai shi xing fu de. ni bu yong dan xin wo, wo hui zhao kui zhi ji de. Dang jie ju bu nen gai, wo you he bi duo kai? Jiu zhe yang bah..

Xian zai xiang qi lai wo men fen shou, yi jing yao liang ge yue le. Ke shi wo hai shi yi zhe zhang zai yuan di, deng zai ni. Wo zhi dao zhi ji hen sha, ye zhi dao ni bu hui lai, ke shi wo hai shi xi huan zai ni. Wu lun ni zuo shen me, wo dou hui zi chi ni de. Yao jia you!

+I love U, guys+

Wahhh.. So fast another day had passed. Yesterday, we had a class gathering in Sentosa, Palawan beach there. It was so fun. It had been such a long time ever since each of us went our own way. Hao xiang lian ni men ah~ haha.. U, guys really change a lot sia. Tian ming had become quite good looking, the guys all becoming more childish leh, wan jun had grew fatter yet still so pretty and the girls had becoming more and more beautiful~ Some more all of the girls worn bikini leh except sl and me. hahaha. Well, how I wish that day had never ended. Think we left Sentosa at about 5pm plus. Went to eat then went to see a movie, Quill. The dog is so cute, responsible and have a thoughtful mind. That movie was quite boring and touching at the same time. I cried at the ending, guess it was because of the music made me filled my mind with something else. I'm depressed again. Today cry again when listening to windstruck songs. Today chatting with u, I know where i'm standing in ur heart le. I knew the answer right from the start, it'll alway be the same, am I right? Such a hurtful feeling. But I'm scare of letting go of the memories and feeling that we once shared. The hurt is unbearable, those really hurt in ur heart, like there is something piercing through. Are U being fair? Or am I being a fool?

+mixed feelings+

hohoho~ wo hui lai le. this few days had been busy with projects and FS class test. so stress~ so many projects to pass up. some more is THREE projects leh, still got one more coming up. wo hao ya li! haha today go online i chat with him again. we chat and chat. as usual, our chatting is so cold, like nothing to talk about. sigh. but when he says that actually on teacher's day, he hoped to see me going back to sch. i got so happy, suddenly feel so happy about it. what am i doing? i care so much about what he says to me. even just s simple msg from him, will make me happy and brighten up my day. i think i still like him, even through he may not feel the same for me anymore. i really really miss him alot! it's a feeling that i could not find the exact word to describle. the feeling is just there, no matter how hard i try to be forget. sigh. it's so miserable. it's just like something is missing in my life and i figure it out, it's u. breaking up is just a way of testing how stable our relationship can be.

hmmm.. just listening to jie kou from jay's newest (qi li xiang) album. the lyrics is so meaningful and sad.
here is the lyric i'm going to paste it here for u all.

jie kou

fan zhe wo men de zhao pian, xiang lian ruo yin ruo xian

qu nian de dong tian, wo men xiao de hen tian

kan zhe ni ku qi de lian, dui zhe wo shuo zai jian

lai bu ji ting jian, ni yi zou de hao yuan

ye xu ni yi jing fang qi wo, ye xu yi jing hen nan hui tou

wo zhi dao shi zi ji cuo guo, qing zai gei wo yi ge li you shuo ni bu ai wo

jiu suan shi wo bu dong, neng bu neng you liang wo

qing bu yao ba fen shou dang zuo ni de qing qiu

wo zhi dao jian chi yao zou, shi ni shou shang de jie kou

qing ni hui tou, wo hui pei ni yi zhi zou dao zui hou

jiu suan mei you jie guo, wo ye neng gou cheng shou

wo zhi dao ni de tong, shi wo gei de cheng nuo

ni shuo gei guo wo zong rong, che mo shi yin wei bao rong

ru guo ya zou, qing ni ji de wo

ru guo nan guo, qing ni wang le wo

+happy teacher's day+

Happy Teacher's Day~ well well well.. one year had past by ever since i last celebrated teacher's day in my secondary school. today should be a day that graduated students go back and visit their teacher who had taught them. Some of my classmates are going back. but for my case is totally different. haha.. i'm lazy to go back to my secondary school even through it's only 5mins walk from my house. Some more, my last year form teacher and math teacher already transfered to another school. I don't see any reason for me to go back. anyway just wish my form teacher "Happy teacher's day! u had make a difference in my life. thanks for all the life principles u taught us. we'll alway love u!"
TEACH. Mould the Future of Our Nation.
A teacher inspires love for singapore keeps the sense of wonder alive cares deeply about morals and character urger enterprise, innovation, curisity and creativity seeks to learn continuously, knowing that life never stands still challenges students and helps them find potential within themselves believes there is no greater calling for influencing the young than being a teacher.

+bluR bluR+

Should I say so soon, that common tests are finally over? And I'm still having holiday mood. hmm.. Today lessons are so boring that they can make me sleep. Some more I forgot to bring my lappy, not don't want to bring hor. Luckily teacher didn't care so much about it. plew~ getting more and more forgetful le, is this one of the symptoms of aging? haha our group (f4) are all so cute and funny~ feel like pinching their face. Today jocyceline put on make up and she looks really pretty with it. haha guess why? She's going movie with a guy. Want to know who? haha I'm not going to tell u further. Guess it urself. I'm so anxious about my common tests results and yet our teachers haven't mark finish our papers, so SLOW sia. haha better don't let them see it or else later they deduct my marks from my tests then I'll really be dead meat. Alone taking bus home make me think of life is really that short and we should really cherish what we have in life. to learn that what is most valuable is not what they have in lives is who they have in their lives.

+dummy roX+

Time passes so fast. Until now my webby still in a mess. haha.. Guess I'm really a computer dummy bah. Finally got background image in my webby le. haha I'm so happy! At least I achieve something. Sitting in front of my lappy since the whole morning, I'm so tired. Luckily got my friends are online to accompany me, fill me with recent gossips. haha.. Ever since each of us got into different institute, we seldom have time to go out with each other. I missed the time when all of us were crazy shopping and eating together. >.< buddies forever~ love ya, muaCk~

+about me, mE and ME+

hiya~this is the first time I create a blogger. Come' on, give me some face leh. Meanwhile, I'm just testing out the different template to enhance my webby. Well.. Got to buck up, I'm not losing to U. haha any comments? Feel free to tell me.